Dark in Dim

[Heartafire]

This is my very first post.

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Kei (恵)
(The Scene)

Oh Lord! Please save me from this agonizing torment
I don’t deserve this unholy misfortune
Escape my soul from this place
Because I’ve been running into it for such a long time

I’m drowning! Those empty eyes are silently staring at me
They weaken me stunningly, for I’m nothing but vicious
I curse the days when I was calling upon your names
Now what I can do is strengthen my feet on the solid ground

Damnation! For those senseless souls who shouldn’t have existed
I don’t deserve to live like this
The souls, they keep haunting me, terrorizing me in every single dark long night
What crime that I have done? Why I can’t stop tearing apart?

Burden! Such a weight of the world on my shoulders
This moment! It can’t be the end of me
Live forever! It is the time for me to raise my glass
Upon my sins! This is just the nature of life - as I will take what is mine

Welcome! To the show that you have been waiting, it has just begun
The music is played - just sit neatly, and enjoy the pain
I will let you taste my fairly beautiful dagger, at once and more
You can’t run before my eyes, there’s no way out of this awful place

Repent! You are scum! You are filth!
This is the part where you are supposed to scream
Your bleeding is such a luxury, an unbearable passion
This massacre shouldn’t end until the sun warms your freezing flesh

Sinking! Now my heart is dead and gone
Your body is beautifully failing, as I am trembled by the taste of your blood
I confess – I am an artist who has this sensation of lust and despair
I should have killed the time, as I am preciously overjoyed

Chaos! Justice has died
Lord is no longer beside you
Now, the heaven’s doors are shut
For I am waiting you at the Gates of Sin and Death

This reads somewhat like a screen play for me, your intro (the scene) lead me in that direction as well. It seems a bit scattered. What terrible misfortune? Who is speaking and to whom? I can't really offer anything further, but feel you have put a lot into this and
were it me, I would work further on this, condense it perhaps, you seem to have a lot of potential as a writer.