A Block The Strongest Man Couldn't Budge

[Brenkin]

A Block The Strongest Man Couldn't Budge

I sat up late, irate at night.
A spark I thought would once ignite,
my mind, a match, I threw away.
I could not think of what to write.

So I sat in the dark with a page in my mitt.
I’d embark with my thoughts to a land far away.
I would fight, there’s no way that my mind would submit,
so I clutched on my pen until night turned to day.

The words would not escape my lips,
the words could not escape my wrist.

[ellajam]

A Block The Strongest Man Couldn't Budge

I sat up late, irate at night.
A spark I thought would once ignite,
my mind, a match, I threw away.
I could not think of what to write.

So I sat in the dark with a page in my mitt.
I’d embark with my thoughts to a land far away.
I would fight, there’s no way that my mind would submit,
so I clutched on my pen until night turned to day.

The words would not escape my lips,
the words could not escape my wrist.

Hi, Brenkin, welcome.

A Block is a hard thing to write about, especially while in it, and afterwards it's nice to forget.

I don't see what you gain from the inconsistent rhyming. I'd either pull it together or dump the rhyme altogether.

Hope you enjoy the sight.

[billy]

it's a common theme and because of this has to be done in a way that that holds the reader. in general it defeats the object because of the very fact it's a poem. watch out for forced lines. [A spark I thought would once ignite,] feels as though it was done to fit the rhyme, if you do rhyme, try and be consistent with it.

A Block The Strongest Man Couldn't Budge

I sat up late, irate at night.
A spark I thought would once ignite,
my mind, a match, I threw away. good [m's]
I could not think of what to write.
So I sat in the dark with a page in my mitt.
I’d embark with my thoughts to a land far away.
I would fight, there’s no way that my mind would submit,
so I clutched on my pen until night turned to day.
The words would not escape my lips,
the words could not escape my wrist.

[MrTurnipHead]

"A Block The Strongest Man Couldn't Budge

I sat up late, irate at night.
A spark I thought would once ignite,
my mind, a match, I threw away.
I could not think of what to write.

So I sat in the dark with a page in my mitt.
I’d embark with my thoughts to a land far away.
I would fight, there’s no way that my mind would submit,
so I clutched on my pen until night turned to day.

The words would not escape my lips,
the words could not escape my wrist."

I really like the alliteration with the third line(the m's).
However some of the rhyming seems forced, especially with words like "ignite", and "mitt". Some phrases are also a little cliche like "thoughts to a land far away", and "Words could not escape my lips".

Best

[Psyve]

Brenkin,

A Writer's Block is very frustrating. When it happens to them, poets and songwriters still sometimes manage to write about it, in verse and song.
Sometimes that leads readers / listeners to conclude that the block may not be as serious as the writer would have them believe.

Having been there/done that, I empathise with the sentiment of your poem but feel that the rhyme and rhythm structure need attention as they currently trip this effort up.

Verse 1 seems to work on an AABA rhyme structure, while Verse 2 moves to an ABAA structure.

Also the line length and syllable stress structure (rhythm) changes from V1 to V2: V1 being easy and simple, V2 being more complex. For me as a reader that creates an unexpected bump in the flow.

The last two lines, to my ear, seem to hang without resolution.

There are good bits: the internal rhyme ( late / irate) in line 1 of Verse 1, and alliteration (in line 3 Verse 1) all work well for me.

As I first read the first three lines of this poem, I expected the fourth to fall into an AABB rhyme structure like this perhaps:

I sat up late, irate at night.
A spark I thought would once ignite,
my mind, a match, I threw away.
I could not think of words to say.

but the surprising fourth line rhyme caught my interest .

Consider rewriting V2 with a similar structure?

-Psyve

[hopefularahant]

A Block The Strongest Man Couldn't Budge

I sat up late, irate at night.
A spark I thought would once ignite,<
my mind, a match, I threw away.
I could not think of what to write.

So I sat in the dark with a page in my mitt.<
I’d embark with my thoughts to a land far away.this line is sort of meaningless
I would fight, there’s no way that my mind would submit,
so I clutched on my pen until night turned to day.

The words would not escape my lips,
the words could not escape my wrist.

I cant really sympathize with the writers block, but i still like the poem. I love the first stanza. Aside from an almost forced rhyme with "ignite", and a funny break in the rhyme scheme, the lengths of lines and syllables flow very nicely. The second stanza lost the flow and rhythm but kept the almost forced rhyme. I would rework the second stanza, pick a rhyme scheme, and maybe rework one or two of thr lines that seem to be forced rhyme (i marked them).

[HalfOpenArms]

Hi Brenkin,

Normally I don't enjoy meta-poetry, as I've always found it sort of pretentious (though I'll admit I've written more than one poem about writer's block myself). However, I very much enjoyed this poem. Others have suggested that you change up the rhyme scheme to make it more consistent, but I rather like it the way it is (though I'm inclined to agree with MrTurnipHead that your use of "mitt" comes off as forced). I enjoy the half-rhyme in the final couplet. It creates a sort of... musing tone. I'm left with a feeling that I can only describe as--I can't believe I'm saying this--blue balls, which I imagine was your intention. In that regard, the poem is very effective.

The switch from iambic tetrameter to anapestic tetrameter was pretty jarring. I'm trying to think of a way that you might signal the shift, but I'm coming up empty.

[Grace]

A Block The Strongest Man Couldn't Budge

I sat up late, irate at night.
A spark I thought would once ignite,
my mind, a match, I threw away.
I could not think of what to write.

So I sat in the dark with a page in my mitt.
I’d embark with my thoughts to a land far away.
I would fight, there’s no way that my mind would submit,
so I clutched on my pen until night turned to day.

The words would not escape my lips,
the words could not escape my wrist.

Hi. A couple of thoughts came to me when I was reading your poem. One is to switch tenses from past to present in the poem (I've shown this below).  It would add a bit more conflict  to the writers block.

The other is to remove the comma after ignite. It changes the meaning slightly, so the spark you thought would once ignite your mind, a match (matching word?), you threw away.

What I've said may make no sense whatsoever as I'm writing this when tired. Best, Grace.



A Block the Strongest Man Can't Budge

I sat up late, irate at night.
A spark I thought would once ignite
my mind, a match, I threw away.
I cannot think of what to write.

So I sit in the dark with a page in my mitt,
Ill embark with my thoughts to a land far away.
I will fight; there's a way that my mind will submit,
so I clutch on my pen until night turns to day.

The words will not escape my lips.
The words will not escape my wrist.

[i.might.be.a.bit.sad]

I really love how you are writing about being in a block, but it is so poignant that it is in actuality a very amazing poem. I also think this poem could be applied to other things. As writers, or those who like to dabble in writing, we here tend to jump to the writing interpretation. I also think it stands as a good metaphor for any other type of block, such as a hard decision or something you don't want to say, an idea that you need to have but wont come to you. Some of the meter does sound a little forced, as does the rhyme, but i never deal too much in those things so i wouldn't know what to suggest to fix it. Overall, great piece

[thebrokeanarchist]

A Block The Strongest Man Couldn't Budge

I sat up late, irate at night.
A spark I thought would once ignite,
my mind, a match, I threw away.
I could not think of what to write.

So I sat in the dark with a page in my mitt.
I’d embark with my thoughts to a land far away.
I would fight, there’s no way that my mind would submit,
so I clutched on my pen until night turned to day.

The words would not escape my lips,
the words could not escape my wrist.

Great poem. I believe the rhyming could certainly work, although the poem seems hurried, despite the fact that it's dealing with the "slowness" of the words appearing. There are many ways to 'slow down' the pace of a poem, and I might try to do that, if I were you.