Phlegm Poems

[only rob]

Phlegm Poems


I can’t drive my car
to love, or
evict my midnight vision
from mars,
but when I cough these
breathless autumn poems,
I see my funeral
in her eyes.

[writeitout]

I get every in and exhale! My coughing has been supressed by a nightime cold remedy! I need to get the congestion out though.

Good metaphor throughout. Loved the brevity!

Renee

[Ca ne fait rien]

Phlegm Poems


I can’t drive my car
to love, or
evict my midnight vision
from mars,
but when I cough these
breathless autumn poems,
I see my funeral
in her eyes.

Line 3- not only is ait a wonderful line imagery-wise, it is sonically too.

The poem is tight and evocative. even though it may be something one may not really want evoked. Powerful stuff here , Rob. I think the line breaks are perfect.

[John Holland]

I enjoyed this. I like tight taut lines... (every fisherman does).

[heslopian]

I like this a great deal. Every thought is unique and affecting. It is at once beautiful and complex, making the reader work to unlock the music box. I personally see it as being about a man who is terminally ill, whose philosophical ponderings don't bring back the fact of his imminent death so much as what he says, his phlegm. Just a thought. I could be completely wrong. Either, thanks for the read, only rob