Pond

[BryanF]

I am an odd duck
sitting on a stagnant pond.
Mama, get the gun.

[brynmawr1]

I am an odd duck
sitting on a stagnant pond.
Mama, get the gun.

I'm not a fan of yoda speak, but it might work here.

An odd duck I am
on a stagnant pond sitting
get the gun, mama

as an aside, the 5-7-5 rule is available but largely ignored by most contemporary haiku/senryu writers.  As with most poetry, it's the message that matters, not the form.

Anyway, welcome to the Pen!  Enjoy.

Bryn

[wasellajam]

I am an odd duck
sitting on a stagnant pond.
Mama, get the gun.

I've been enjoying this, it gets a lot of emotion across and leads to some interesting questions, just how odd, how stagnant and why ask someone else to do the job? You could probably lose "sitting" with no damage done. Thanks for posting it, try leaving a helpful comment for someone else, it's what makes the site work.