Posts: 342
Threads: 206
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Primitive Hope
A life without stigma
would be a place
uncivilized.
A living existence,
finding purpose being
hypnotized.
Though,
what is true to me
is living tranquilized.
Truma blurs reality;
cooping clears conscientiousness.
Hoping one day my mind
won't have to be restrained.
Mastering mentality
living without shame.
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
Posts: 1,241
Threads: 252
Joined: Nov 2015
(Yesterday, 03:56 AM)Bunx Wrote: Primitive Hope
A life without stigma
would be a place
uncivilized.
A living existence,
finding purpose being
hypnotized.
Though,
what is true to me
is living tranquilized.
Truma blurs reality;
cooping clears conscientiousness.
Hoping one day my mind
won't have to be restrained.
Mastering mentality
living without shame.
There was a political cartoon this morning - Uncle Sam lying in OR, flatlined, labeled "Virtue" with one of the docs remarking this was bound to happen after the death of Shame.
Stanza 5: since it contains not one but two apparent typos ("Truma" and "cooping") I suspect that they're meant - simulating or actually the product of the speaker typing on a too-small keypad. In which case "cooping" could even be a Freudian slip by the, er, committed.
FWIW, "Truma" is apparently a German manufacturer of environmental systems, e.g. off-grid heating. OK, isolated, makes sense. And "cooping" was a vote-fraud system where subjects were locked up and forced or liquored up to vote repeatedly for the desired candidate. There, too, a sort of fit. Today I guess we'd call it a form of siloing. Weird and wonderful are the ways...
Non-practicing atheist
Posts: 1,307
Threads: 198
Joined: Dec 2016
(Yesterday, 03:56 AM)Bunx Wrote: Primitive Hope
A life without stigma
would be a place
uncivilized.
So, I think this thought is really the best part of the poem.
Life - as a place. I wonder how much that could be expanded on. Perhaps make life a place the central metaphor and develop from there instead of moving on?
Quote:A living existence,
finding purpose being
hypnotized.
Though,
what is true to me
is living tranquilized.
Truma blurs reality;
cooping clears conscientiousness.
Hoping one day my mind
won't have to be restrained.
Mastering mentality
living without shame.
I also liked the uncivilized/hypnotized rhyme.
Thanks
