Posts: 39
Threads: 49
Joined: Aug 2021
Neon orange duffer
surrounded by the pine
and circling-vulture-clouds.
Another vacant wanderer,
with yellow teeth;
he may be shattered,
but the forest will grind his shards.
Posts: 1,241
Threads: 252
Joined: Nov 2015
(10-30-2021, 01:24 PM)Kerbonzo_beenz Wrote: Neon orange duffer
surrounded by the pine
and circling-vulture-clouds.
Another vacant wanderer,
with yellow teeth;
he may be shattered,
but the forest will grind his shards.
The imagery is nice, but to me it has a day-glo orange blank in the middle. I try to picture a rubbish golfer there, or a peddler, or ('Strilian) a cattle rustler but end up with just a lost hiker in a Blaze Orange jacket. With that settled, works well.
Non-practicing atheist
