those who will (1st edit)

[nibbed]

those who will

cross-eyed girls
caught in maelstroms
need prayer




(original)
for those who do

there's a cross-eyed girl
caught up in her own maelstrom
who is needin' prayer

[Tiger the Lion]

Hello Janine. I see a few words you might consider cutting. Also, would prefer "needing" to "needin'" - just me.

there's a cross-eyed girl
caught up in her own maelstrom
who is needin' prayer

Paul

[nibbed]

Hello Janine. I see a few words you might consider cutting. Also, would prefer "needing" to "needin'" - just me.

there's a cross-eyed girl
caught up in her own maelstrom
who is needin' prayer

Paul

Thank you, Paul
I may have to use some of your suggestions
they certainly are more befitting to short form.


-nibbed