< summer haiku, quantity 1, date: 2017-05-24 >

[rayheinrich]

        stop laughing!
        life is serious -
        as serious as this puppy




puppy is a summer kigo

[ellajam]

I don't know, do you need the second "as serious"? Love the sentiment, though, and those puppy eyes.

[rayheinrich]

I don't know, do you need the second "as serious"? Love the sentiment, though, and those puppy eyes.

No, I don't -- as far as meaning goes. But the extra time it takes to read it gives that line an added emphasis,
a rhythm that for whose sake, I think, is worth compromising the elegant simplicity of haiku*.

*Besides, this really isn't a haiku, it's a fauxku that I just decided to call a haiku because
I'm a writer and all writers just love to lie. If you doubt this, just have a look at Faulkner,
Brontë, Salinger, Austen, Tolstoy... on and on. Those famous novels that they wrote?
They made them all up!

[ellajam]

I wasn't concerned with any poetry rules, it's just the repeat in so small a space wasn't appealing. Though puppy eyes are appealing however they show up as long as I don't have to take them home permanently. Like kids. Maybe it will grow on me.

[rayheinrich]

I wasn't concerned with any poetry rules, it's just the repeat in so small a space wasn't appealing. Though puppy eyes are appealing however they show up as long as I don't have to take them home permanently. Like kids. Maybe it will grow on me.

    Grow on you? Now you're talking about ringworm...
    one of our family dogs got it, back in the day -- gave it to my sister.
    We called her "wormhead"... then she gave it to the rest of us.

[Lynn Mary]

I love this!