< hovering above my garden >

[rayheinrich]

    hovering above my garden
    ufo?  
    poppy



yes, the "-" is entirely unnecessary; I have taken it out

Original:
    hovering above my garden
    ufo? -  
    poppy

[ChristopherSea]

Ha ha, I agree Ray. I have red poppies and their saucer-like shapes are
suggestive of UFOs. Moreover, their huge stamens and pistils
are about as alien as flowers parts come.

Don't you need a comma after garden to separate the statement from the question?
For example:

Droning above the honey dew,
giant honey bee?
No- wee hummingbird

See what you think. Cheers/Chris

[milo]

Ha ha, I agree Ray. I have red poppies and their saucer-like shapes are
suggestive of UFOs. Moreover, their huge stamens and pistils
are about as alien as flowers parts come.

yah, I guess you are right . . .

[Mark A Becker]

Hello rayheinrich-

I'll admit that I had no idea what this poem was about until I saw a picture of one of these...

Pretty simple leap, then, from UFO to poppy. Still, it takes an alien mind to make that leap. Your mind or mine? Take your pick...

I'd suggest indenting L.1 & L.3, and leaving L.2 (ufo?) butted against the left margin. And I'd drop the "-" because you already have a "?" after "ufo".

Thanks,
... Mark

[Magpie]

    hovering above my garden
    ufo? -  
    poppy

Nice one Ray, I see it a couple of different ways - The straight forward visual sense that the poppy looks like a flying saucer of sorts. I can also see it in the way that 'poppy' is not the answer to the question but more the reason why the question is being asked, in fact it could even be the narrator who is hovering over the garden and the poppy is the reason that they got so 'high', in this sense then the 'ufo' would be meant in its true sense of 'unidentified flying object' as opposed to a flying saucer that is usually associated with the term.
The question mark and dash close together seem awkward but that's purely from an aesthetic visual point of view.
Nice image, cheers for the read,

Mark

[ChristopherSea]

Ha ha, I agree Ray. I have red poppies and their saucer-like shapes are
suggestive of UFOs. Moreover, their huge stamens and pistils
are about as alien as flowers parts come.

yah, I guess you are right . . .

Wow milo! Is that a 'Corpse Flower'? That botanical behemoth had to have inspired 'Invasion of the Body-Snatchers!/Chris

[rayheinrich]

Ha ha, I agree Ray. I have red poppies and their saucer-like shapes are
suggestive of UFOs. Moreover, their huge stamens and pistils
are about as alien as flowers parts come.

Yes! And their hair-thin stems are so hard to see that they really do appear to be floating.

Don't you need a comma after garden to separate the statement from the question?
For example:

Droning above the honey dew,
giant honey bee?
No- wee hummingbird

See what you think. Cheers/Chris

Haiku don't have upper case, and certainly no punctuation marks.

The 'no upper case' is an English haiku convention (largely observed) that
stems from the fact that written Japanese doesn't have cases.

Haiku are punctuated with line breaks, not punctuation marks*.
There's a natural pause at the end of each line, no commas necessary.


*Excepting, of course, "?" and "!".

---

Ha ha, I agree Ray. I have red poppies and their saucer-like shapes are
suggestive of UFOs. Moreover, their huge stamens and pistils
are about as alien as flowers parts come.

yah, I guess you are right . . .

    Quadruple touché mr. milo!     (We who are about to die salute you.)


Actual poppies:

---

    hovering above my garden
    ufo? 
    poppy

Nice one Ray, I see it a couple of different ways - The straight forward visual sense that the poppy looks like a flying saucer of sorts. I can also see it in the way that 'poppy' is not the answer to the question but more the reason why the question is being asked, in fact it could even be the narrator who is hovering over the garden and the poppy is the reason that they got so 'high', in this sense then the 'ufo' would be meant in its true sense of 'unidentified flying object' as opposed to a flying saucer that is usually associated with the term.
The question mark and dash close together seem awkward but that's purely from an aesthetic visual point of view.
Nice image, cheers for the read,
Mark

Oooo, wow, cool:
"it could even be the narrator who is hovering over the garden and the poppy is the reason that they got so 'high'..."

My subconscious was, evidently, longing for the long-gone opiates of yesteryear.
I LOVE the transposition of identity your analysis calls forth.  I hereby steal your
interpretation; I intended it from the start and, while your perceptive genius is
entirely evident, it is I who continuously conceived it from its very conception.