NaPM April 11 2015

[milo]

Rules: Write a poem for national poetry month on the topic or form described. Each poem should appear as a separate reply to this thread. The goal is to, at the end of the month have written 30 poems for National Poetry Month. 




Topic 11: AJ would love to see a poem inspired by a conversation or interaction between 2 animals.
Form : any
Line requirements: 8 lines or more

Questions?

[rayheinrich]

                        < animal talk >
               
                I'm going to kill and eat you.
                You need to catch me first.
                I'm holding a chocolate donut.
                Where? I can't see any chocolate donut.
                I'm holding it behind my back.
                No you're not, you're trying to trick me;
                you just want to kill me and eat me.
                It's a very delicious chocolate donut.
                I'd believe you if you threw me a piece of it.
                OK, here's a piece of it.
                Yum! ... I'd believe you more if you threw me another piece.
                Oh hell, here's all the rest of it.
                YUMM! ... Though, in retrospect, the purpose of a lure
                is negated by throwing me the entire lure.
                It wasn't a lure.
                (Sounds of a chase through woods ending in screaming
                and gurgling.)
                YUMM!, nice chocolaty filling.
               
                                - - -

[just mercedes]

Just because we work together doesn't mean I like you


Shawn Sheep:

You're nothing but a bludger mate!
Riding on my back like King Farouk -
why don't you use your wings?
Or are you too fat to fly?

Willy Wagtail:

Mate, I'm doing you a favour!
I catch the bugs you startle
as you're grazing. Ever listened
to yourself eat? It's not pretty.

Shawn:

Then you hop back onto my rump.
I'm starting to feel lop-sided
because you're there all the time.
What did you do before sheep?

Willy:

Before you woolies arrived
my people shared a strong bond
with macropods. There's a portrait
in a cave, carved 10,000 years ago.

Shawn:

Why did you desert them? Don't see you
on a roo very often.

Willy:

I'm getting old, mate. You're a softer ride
and you stink, so there's always more flies.

[Tiger the Lion]

Tilikum’s wake
 
He’d confessed to us cellmates the night before,
about his priors, and what’s more he’d cried for help—
from a tortured blowhole un-cowed:
 
“I killed them in warm blood, it’s true
but it pales to what I’m about to do.
Have you seen the kids in the crowd?”
 
Our Blackfish family circled ‘round
in a finite glass surround painted like ocean, singing,
 
“come on Tilly, you’re talking silly,
we’re all in the same boat,
 
keep swimming Tilly, keep swimming Tilly,
keep swimming, keep swimming, keep swimming.”
 
 
It’s no use pointing tailfins now;
 
we’re not the ones who trained him
 
to breach for reward.

[ellajam]

Dom/Sub

Oh, food.
Gobble.
Nibble.
Gobble yours, too.

Company, hide.
Strut.
Duck.
Cuddle.
Creep.

Out
Sniff.
Gone.
Gone.

Raccoon!
Run.
Fight.
Run.
Ouch.
Run
Home.
Home.

Oh, food.
Gobble.
Nibble.
Gobble yours, too.

[billy]

nAplE April 11

half shelled

I have a friend:

who's a very merry mollusc
and he's living on the shore.
They call him Perry Winkle
he's an intertidal bore.

Hoy you bollocks!

Just stop right there you crusty crab;
you sideways looking feature
Stalky-eyed, you're even worse
a scum-crustated creature

Oh please desist,

from harping on about my looks.
I'll crush you with a claw
and suck out your juicy bits;
no! I really do implore

Well I should say...

How cruel a carapace you are
and me so small; I'm tiny.
Shame I'm not so large as thee;
I'd drown you in the briny.

[just mercedes]

'scum-crustated' - genius

---

I'm so proud to part of the strangeness here!

[Keith]

Once upon a time in Space

Whats that you say Princess Skippy
you've stolen the plans for a death star
and hid them in a talking dust bin.

Look out Skip here come the evil Mr Ed
Aw too late mate.

What's that Lassie
You were cleaning R2
and you found a message
from Princess Skippy,
mate you better go rescue her
get Scooby do and that orangutan
from the Clint Eastwood films to help you.
Then destroy the death star so they can build another,
so you can destroy that one too.

Erm Kermit the frog am I
dying I am
The force is strong in you Lassie
you must fight Mr Ed,
train you I will.

Whats that Skippy you kissed Lassie
and it was like kissing your brother,
strewth, too much information Skip.
Any ways Kermit already told Lassie
that Mr Ed was his father
and that your his twin sister.

Were have you been lassie?
fighting Mr Ed
Whats that Lassie
he died in your arms.
Did you remember to blow up the fucking Death Star
come back Lassie, come back.

[Todd]

ACME Customer Support Line

 
Call volumes are expanding like the universe,
or contracting like your patience. We presume
you will have a lengthy hold that will feel
like a timeshare pitch for a condo
on the fourteenth level of Hell.
 
Sir, I apologize for the wait. Please,
stop whimpering over the receiver. Please
stop. It couldn’t be that bad.
Let me pull up your account. Oh, it’s you!
If I may sir, without you none of us
would have received a third quarter bonus.
 
Are you calling about the Stretch-O-Matic
KO Extender Boxing Glove? It crushed
you between a boulder and a rock face.
I don’t recall that feature in the installation notes.
 
What about the William Tell
DyNO-Mite Shooty Kablewy Archery Set?
It blew your nose? Like a Kleenex?
Oh, onto the other side of your face.
 
Oh, the Bob Ross Drive Thru Fake Roadway,
I don’t see how he could have run
through a painted picture.
The bird should have went splat.
You went splat.
 
Return? I could discuss warranty,
but forgive me for saying
you never win any race
when you stop running.
 
Have you seen our Seltzer Skate Harness?
You strap a tank of highly-concentrated
Seltzer water to your back coupled
with a pair of our off-road jet skates.
A simple turn of the faucet,
and like we say at Acme:
If you can dream it, than we can make it a reality.
Yes sir, same address? We’ll bill the account.
Thank you, goodbye.
 
Meep Meep!

[Erthona]

Although this is an ancient story, probably heard by all,
it is still an excellent story to tell of the communications
between what humans call wild animals. (Updated for modern readers)

This is that story.

One day a squirrel comes biddly-boppin down the trail
and coming over a rise, what he sees is an elephant
stuck in the mud; apparently helpless to get out.
Now as we shall see, animals are very polite
when they converse with other animals.

Squirrel: Good day Mr. Elephant.

Elephant: Good day Mr. Squirrel.

S: How are you doing today Mr. Elephant?

E: Well not too good, you see I am stuck in this mud hole.

S: I see. Well would you like some help getting out?

E: Why yes I would, thank you very much.

S: Wait right here, I shall return shortly.

Mr. Elephant said this to be polite, as he thought there was no possible way that Mr. Squirrel could help him get free from this mud hole. However he was quickly surprised.)

Mr. Elephant heard, then saw a car come over the rise with Mr. Squirrel driving. When it got closer he could tell it was a Mercedes Benz. Mr. Elephant was greatly impressed.
The car stopped a few yards from the mud hole, Mr. Squirrel got out, popped the trunk and got out a rope. He attached one end to his bumper and threw the other end to Mr. Elephant saying,

S: If you will Mr. Elephant, please grab hold of that rope and I will pull you out of the mud hole.

Mr. Elephant did as instructed and was shortly pulled out of the mud hole, finding himself free and standing on dry dirt.

E: Mr. Squirrel, I am so very grateful for you getting me out of that mud hole, who knows how long I might have been there if you had not rescued me. I owe you a tremendous favor.

S:  Think nothing of it Mr. Elephant. See you around.

___________________________________________________________________

A few weeks later Mr. Elephant is walking down the same path and when he tops the rise and what do you think he sees? That's right, Mr. Squirrel stuck in the same mud hole.

E: Good day Mr. Squirrel.

S: Good day Mr. Elephant.

E. How are you doing today Mr. Squirrel?

S: Not to well, you see I am stuck in this mud hole.

E: Would you like some help getting out Mr. Squirrel?

S: Why yes I would Mr. Elephant, thank you very much.

So Mr. Elephant grabs his penis and throws it towards Mr. Squirrel and says.

E: Mr. Squirrel, if you would, grab a hold of that and I will pull you free of the mud hole.

And in two instances Mr. Squirrel finds himself free of the mud hole. And this is how Animals talk to each other in the wild…What? Oh, Mr. Elephant says that there is a moral to this story and would like to tell it to you. OK Mr. Elephant, the stage is yours.

Elephant: ...and the moral of the story is, if your dick's big enough you don't need a Mercedes.

The End

[rayheinrich]

Although this is an ancient story...

I know not what shaggy dog possessed you; but it strikes cool, dude.

[cidermaid]

Perry (AKA the flea ferry) calls round at the flopsy residence.

Perry:
Dear bunny,
let me see your babes
with their sweet little ears
and their cutesy cotton tails.

Mrs Flopsy:
In our burrowed cave, we would rather stay --
I saw you kill my cousin just the other day.

Perry:
Ah yes; I recall him,
a right little squealer,
telling retched, wicked tales;
I did no such thing as bite him...

Mrs F:
No, no, no, that is not so.  You ate him head and all!
Now all my babes are traumatised and all they do is bawl.

Perry:
... I might, perhaps have shaken him,

but I really must protest;
it was an honest accident,
when the whiplash broke his throat.

Also, I could not avoid to swallow,
his furry coat had made me choke,
as I gave him mouth to mouth.

Mrs F:
Be gone foul beast with blood bathed teeth.
Upon my babes you will not feast.

Perry:
O contraire my dear,
I sadly fear, I really must insist.
Now please desist, the foul referals;
you may as well assist my dig,
                                                                                                                                               
(through muffled teeth)...its pointless to resist.

[ellajam]

Great prompt to have spurred such interesting poems. Thanks, AJ, all props to the apple queen.

[jasmine.m.wardiya]

Mother and child
yet they're almost strangers now.
She cries
over a new litter, now gone.
He walks past, unperturbed,
searching for dinner
or a midnight snack.
She leaves her food untouched.
He devours it,
and his own
and hops over the fence
to the neighbour's cat.
She cries alone.
She sees this old child of hers wander
but does not call, does not follow.
She pines for the new ones,
barely a week old.
Child ignores mother.
Mother ignores child.
Perhaps...
they've already grown up
and forgotten.

[bena]

had to go back in time to deliver ray some sunshine


Dungeon Follies


Yak and Ewe went
down the stairs
to fetch the shiny
shackles

Yak fell down
jacuzzi bound
and Ewe
filmed it for the jackals.

[rayheinrich]

had to go back in time to deliver ray some sunshine


Dungeon Follies


Yak and Ewe went
down the stairs
to fetch the shiny
shackles

Yak fell down
jacuzzi bound
and Ewe
filmed it for the jackals.

Ewe so good, I luv ewe.

[bena]

<3 I know!