A Sparkly Crush

[Bekkere]

Mr awesome, Mr smiley.
Your eyes have hooks and i dare not peak.
Contagious lashings of smiles for me.
I've never seen colour like this,
these colours that u shine I see.
Emerald green and golds,
sparkly boy you make my stomach skip.
My head is a huricane that bends and twists,
and I feel so high I cannot get grip.
In this storm I drown and sink.
But I've never died so alive you see...


I'm a novice who loves criticism so come at me
ps this is my first poem

[Rubi]

Mr awesome, Mr smiley. A small nit picky thing: You might want to capitalise Smiley and Awesome, as they're names
Your eyes have hooks and i dare not peak. You want 'peek' here, unless you do mean 'peak' as in a mountain peak, or peak of a cap..? I suppose both work, in different ways.
Contagious lashings of smiles for me. I'm not convinced by the same-ish word here in 'smiles'. 'grins' could work here, especially with the other 'g' sounds in the line
I've never seen colour like this,
these colours that u shine I see.
Emerald green and golds, I really like these three lines. It's sweet!
sparkly boy you make my stomach skip. Comma after 'sparkly boy'
My head is a huricane that bends and twists, hurricane
and I feel so high I cannot get grip. 'get a grip' or 'find grip'
In this storm I drown and sink.
But I've never died so alive you see...I don't understand the last line here.

It's a sweet piece, I think you capture the turbulent beginnings of romance, or more that anxious 'crush' phase. I'm not entirely sure the rhyme scheme is working for you here, sometimes a poem can become too restricted by trying to stick to a set structure.

You have some smaller grammatical and spelling mistakes, but these are easily rectified.

Keep chasing it

Rubi

[jdguyb]

I got lost from lines 8 to 11, try to make the message clear throughout the entire poem