07-09-2012, 12:46 PM
I cast my vote for the second 
The metaphor of life versus dark is well-worn, but for me is not bad per se if we as readers were given more clues to work with. Is this a poem about holy war? Something else? That you call it "earth city" is intriguing, but I'm give no further clear clue. Also that you bring up reconciliation in a poem about a call to arms. A little flourish of specificity in the narrative might give these broader imagery more of a chance to shine.
Thanks very much for the read
The metaphor of life versus dark is well-worn, but for me is not bad per se if we as readers were given more clues to work with. Is this a poem about holy war? Something else? That you call it "earth city" is intriguing, but I'm give no further clear clue. Also that you bring up reconciliation in a poem about a call to arms. A little flourish of specificity in the narrative might give these broader imagery more of a chance to shine.
Thanks very much for the read
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?