Ocean

[Bianca Alabaster]

Thanks everyone very much, I'll have to really think about what you suggested. I like the pointed stops of the poem. "Eyes closed/ eyes open" the poem was a memory recollection in exactness and I had sudden stops. like "wow the wind through the trees sound like an ocean" time was pausing so to speak so I kept the poem as the moment.

There is room for improvement that's for sure. I need to put commas in I think and I did want the hybrid of ocean and land mixed because one was the reality and one was the imagined place, but I get your point. thanks