Violent violets

[whisperer]

I liked the original version better than the revision except for the main stanza with the angelic choir. The revision shows more language and more advanced word choices. I feel the piece moves gently through the pain, though I think you could develop into that emotion a little more without getting too cliche. I'm not a big fan of the final add on stanza even though I personally love wisdom pieces, but it just seems a little out of place here. Sure, it adds closure to the emotion, but I feel it's more poignant to end with "I say to him/It'll be ok". We all know it's not, but we paint a smile on the pain and move on and, inevitably, write beautiful poetry. Well done. I love the velvety imagery. It's gentle and painful and beautiful. Thanks for sharing this lovely little read.