Violent violets

[Mostly Holy]

Oh this is gorgeous, so much great imagery of the destruction of fragile beauty, a young life cut off in mid song, really brutal. I almost think "say" is a bit weak in the closer, perhaps "I lie to him;" or "I promise him;" The rhymes work well, not too many and not too few, and the unbalanced meter gives it the perfect uneasy edge. "Angelic choir singing out of tune" is the only line that seems to wobble, mostly because of the two possible pronunciations of "choir", but I do not think it needs to be fixed, it works as a "wobble" in the poem anyway, like a voice breaking from grief