Ocean

[addy]

Nice poem, I really do love nature imagery

Again, take these comments with a pinch of salt, and take what works for you

Eyes closed I stand
out in the November cold
far from the ocean shore
Ears poised maybe a different word from poised I hear
the sound I know
crashing waves above me
of the ocean surf. maybe rephrase these last two lines, as they confused me a little. (should it be 'off the ocean surf?', am not too clear)

It rolls and roars
through the trees
wave after wave
I stand in wonder. Personally, I like the image you're picturing, but it doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the poem, where you make it a point to either have pure ocean imagery, or pure flatland imagery, but not a hybrid of both

Eyes closed the wind
dances lower
and lower
and I am swimming.

Eyes open
I am in a field
of fragrant autumn leaves.

As I move slowly
planting my feet firmly
it feels familiar
I pay attention
I stop
Eyes closed
the sand surrounds
my shoes
I feel its push
of resistance
when I move
my toes, Lots of nice vivid imagery but this one stuck with me for some reason
yet my mind knows.

Eyes open
I look upon the ground
I am standing upon
frozen grass and leaves
embracing my feet.

This moment is mine.
I hear, feel, smell It's up to you discretion, since I believe that the poem is a good length already, but I would've been interested to see imagery of what the smell of the ocean was like.
and see,
Ocean!

©