02-02-2025, 03:55 PM
My knees would be bruised if I dug them into the ground to say my prayers
How bloodied I would stand if I
picked the weeds from my garden.
Through gnashing teeth
I'd provide the soil with iron and my
flowers would grow
Justify why my blood stains the land
I could say its poetic justice
But maybe its just sin.
You have poetry here.
The last lines mean something.
I like how the lines before the last lines are made to make the last lines mean something.
The first lines are interesting.
They all come together. But loosely.
Keep what you have. Come up with something more tight. See what happens.
The prayers, gnashing teeth, iron; all these make the poem good as it is.
They are hints coding.
How bloodied I would stand if I
picked the weeds from my garden.
Through gnashing teeth
I'd provide the soil with iron and my
flowers would grow
Justify why my blood stains the land
I could say its poetic justice
But maybe its just sin.
You have poetry here.
The last lines mean something.
I like how the lines before the last lines are made to make the last lines mean something.
The first lines are interesting.
They all come together. But loosely.
Keep what you have. Come up with something more tight. See what happens.
The prayers, gnashing teeth, iron; all these make the poem good as it is.
They are hints coding.