Next in Time (edit of To Salinger's Seymour)

[brynmawr1]

A phoebe                    The?  could go either way but it feels a little more direct.
perched on a rock
twitching its tail                 tail twitching
about to pounce.              bring back the white space between these lines that mark suggested

ver. 2
The twitching tail
of a phoebe
perched on a rock

about to pounce.

ver. 1
Life is a cut-up
and each of us an oracle:
the twitching tail of a phoebe
perched on a rock
about to pounce.

Hi Tim,
Forgive me if you feel like you are being pecked at by a bird, but I had some suggestions above.
steve