Rebound - edit 1

[Todd]

Hi, a couple of comments for you.

Rebound


He looks like me. Have I waited too long?--I understand opening this way given the context, but the question isn't provocative enough to pull me in. Perhaps focus on developing or riffing off of the first phrase more and blend the question of the second phrase into the observations of the narrative.

Mirror the world and say yes.
What would you love me as?
Fillet knife nail polish fountain pen--really want some commas here. I won't comment on this again but the punctuation throughout is very distracting. I would think either conform to it or pass on it entirely.

Mirror oh my mirror are you broken
Could I please heal your wounds
or ink them on my body--The first line is interesting the other two don't cover much interesting ground.

October is when I realise this is a year.
Twelve months of time divided into tinier and tinier--tinier and tinier seems like a missed opportunity for imagery. You talk about a filet knife earlier perhaps pick up the knife and use it to slice away. This comes across as a scaffold that needs to be replaced by something more evocative. 
parts--Ugh. I'm not liking this vague parts. It doesn't the ability to hold the line. It has no emotional buildup or weight.
until they disappear.

You were to grow and you shrunk
and shrunk and shrunk--again, I like where you're going but imagery instead of flat statements please.
Who am I to trust now my brave Narcissus,
Organic impractical decaying
reading self help books by day
day-dreaming by night.--I like how you pull it together at the end. I'm not sure I like the repetition of day.

I know I'm not coming off like I have anything positive to say, but I actually do like some of the bones here and think you could develop it well. I do hope the comments help some.

Best,

Todd