A Constant Call to My Fall

[vagabond]

 I believe that if god exists (sorry I write it this way) he/ she/ it likes your poem!
it sounds natural and original at the same time to me and has metaphors that offer a lot to think about.

 
your original version makes me think I interprete this not in the way you intended,  i like the thoughts you convey in your first version as well.

spoiler box because my comments consist only of interpretations.. hope it´s still useful as feedback.

A Constant Call to My Fall

Vapors drop                     good start… vapors first rise, but when the air is cool they condense and drop again! love that line.
the enjambment gives it a second possible meaning.. like ghosts letting the following things drop.
mace and chains,                 somehow sounds like ball and chain.. made into a weapon with the replacement of ball by mace. some weapon chained to the carrier.
whips and fire;   
You'll wait
for my love letter,        
that murky wedge                 this line I read with double meaning: first as a description of the love letter , then as belonging to the next line: wedge between subject and god. both ways relentlessly honest (and let me add: not necessarily true, just honest in the description of the thought/ feeling)

between me & God.
I must confess,

I see snakes
and worms          things undermining faith, fear of death
and hear               
the sounds
of much hissing.              snakes make me think of confessing temptation and doubts. maybe doubt is also seen as a form of temptation.  


Delayed Response                        that is a fine, sarcastic understatement!.. maybe we all will get a very delayed response, maybe we won´t and will never even know.

Tortured so I'll see?
I prefer banners,
a stack of blank sheets
in one solid color
of I want to be over you.                   
Enjoy my wedgies. 

I like referencing to murky wedges  with wedgies, the latter ridiculing the former.
This stanza could be read as god´s response, some god who seems to not take the content of the first stanza seriously, instead demands testimonies (banners) and wants to be all over, but yet ignores/ covers up parts.
wedgie certainly is some fresh metaphor, and a good one as well!
the whole second stanza has an ironic tone which makes it pretty clear that it´s just an imagined response, the subject still seems to be the same as in the first stanza, venting uncertainty.