04-12-2017, 05:07 AM
I love this Ray. I like the being verb with the moon -- the tension between steadiness with the reality of the moon's motion. Portraying the moon as a season of life, instead of the usual spring, summer, fall, winter. I like.
Maybe add "be" to the end of the first line to mirror the end of the third line?
Maybe add "be" to the end of the first line to mirror the end of the third line?