04-26-2010, 12:18 PM
You're right, it does kind of lose it around the last few lines of the verse. I rewrote it many times, and now I see that it has become quite forced. Have to rewrite or ditch that part, I guess.
Your right that the poem itself sounds more Carrollian LOL, it's just the muse in my mind that was Seussian: goofy-looking (and goofy-acting) but harmless and full of heart. The silliness of Carroll is more macabre imo. But it's a very valid observation
Your right that the poem itself sounds more Carrollian LOL, it's just the muse in my mind that was Seussian: goofy-looking (and goofy-acting) but harmless and full of heart. The silliness of Carroll is more macabre imo. But it's a very valid observation
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?