Pinches of Salt

[wunderkind]

Not everything has weight, they say.

Sounds fly through the air, carelessly spat out.

Venom splatters around the room. Bombs explode, embedding pollysyllabic shrapnel into ears, minds, and hearts.

Their trajectory is not considered, the force with which they are propelled not calibrated.

So whoever deploys them owes no apology to whomever they hit, for there was no thought, and therefore, no intent.

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My first official post in this section. Just threw this together, so it's practically just a skeleton. I know it can be better; I just can't put my finger on how.

[billy]

Not everything has weight, they say.

Sounds fly through the air, carelessly spat out.

Venom splatters around the room. Bombs explode, embedding pollysyllabic shrapnel into ears, minds, and hearts.

Their trajectory is not considered, the force with which they are propelled not calibrated.

So whoever deploys them owes no apology to whomever they hit, for there was no thought, and therefore, no intent.

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My first official post in this section. Just threw this together, so it's practically just a skeleton. I know it can be better; I just can't put my finger on how.

for me it needs a bit more depth. s it is it feels a little two dimensional WK
I'd also use enjambment to make it feel less prose.
IE;

Sounds fly through the air carelessly
spat out.

Venom splatters
around the room Bombs explode
embedding polysyllabic shrapnel (3 L's in pollysyllabic)
into ears, minds, and hearts.

you have good use of vocabulary and good grammar.

the latter isn't so important per say though if used, should be used correctly (my use is atrocious)

the title suites the poem
and the poem carries an easily read message.

not a lot to change as far as i can see.
an odd cliche with bomb exploding but that's not too bad

if i had one piece of advice it would be to give it some depth
show us don't tell us.

thanks for the read of what could be a really good poem

[addy]

Welcome to the forum! Since Billy already commented on splitting up your lines, I won't comment on that anymore I think just that one simple thing will do wonders for the piece

Not everything has weight, they say. I love this first line. It's a fascinating opener for the reader

Sounds fly through the air, carelessly spat out.

Venom splatters around the room. Bombs explode, hmm, the beginning of the line is good, but I think you could play around more with the double meaning of the poem's first line, "weight" referring to both how serious the consequence of words are and the second meaning what airy immaterial things words actually are. I'd like some imagery like that... violent and dangerous, but efficient and light (Just a thought) embedding pollysyllabic shrapnel into ears, minds, and hearts.

Their trajectory is not considered, the force with which they are propelled not calibrated.

So whoever deploys them owes no apology to whomever they hit, for there was no thought, and therefore, no intent. Good parting words (for there was no thought, and therefore, no intent), definitely food for thought. I guess what's not too clear in the poem is whether the narrator actually believes this in some level/is making a case for it? Or does the narrator hate the idea?

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I liked the idea of this, and your words are chosen very well. Just a minor edit, as Billy said. Thanks for this!