Sweat -- edit 2

[RiverNotch]

Fixed at the window, I wondered
if my son would come home safe.
For a moment, my bowels forgot
that John Wayne Gacy is frying in hell,
crispy like the chicken he peddled,
and I don't believe in reincarnation.

Hmm....perhaps
Fixed at the window -- would my son
come home safe? My bowels forget
that John Wayne Gacy's in hell,
crisp like the chicken he peddled,
and I don't believe in reincarnation.
considering how expendable "I wondered", "for a moment", and "frying" are. Although at the very least, "crisp like the chicken" sounds far crisper than "crispy like the chicken", and the present tense somehow makes it sweatier.