06-13-2016, 10:58 AM
Hi, this is without doubt a beautiful image when I picture it in my mind but for me it doesn't have that aha moment or that flash of brief enlightenment that I want to see in short poetry such as this.
Unless I am missing some significance with fireflies in spring or something similar. I've never even seen a firefly before—we don't get them where I live—so I suppose there is a part of me that is jealous.
As a suggestion for an edit all I can think of would be something like...
spring moon—
in a wildflower field
fireflies write haiku
Just a thought, thanks for the read,
Mark
Unless I am missing some significance with fireflies in spring or something similar. I've never even seen a firefly before—we don't get them where I live—so I suppose there is a part of me that is jealous.
As a suggestion for an edit all I can think of would be something like...
spring moon—
in a wildflower field
fireflies write haiku
Just a thought, thanks for the read,
Mark
wae aye man ye radgie