Sweat -- edit 2

[Leanne]

Sweat -- short poem



Today I started to sweat still waiting
for my son to come home safe.
A terrible moment, my bowels forgot
that John Wayne Gacy is frying in hell,
his skin burning crispy like the chicken he peddled,
and I don't believe in previous lives.

Hi Lizzie, know the feeling well -- anxiety and motherhood make interesting bedfellows. The bit that's off for me is "a terrible moment" and I wonder if "for one ___ moment" with a one-syllable adjective (or two quick syllables) might not work better?

I'm actually ok with reincarnation in the last line instead. It would be a bit stronger and the emphasis is correct, so since the meter's not regular anyway, I say go for it.