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Leopard
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02-27-2016, 11:11 PM
I like the movement in the opening against the stillness of the second line you set up prey and predator really well, maybe graze instead of feeds ?, the twist in the last line works well but I would take another look at the phrasing something feels slightly off. All said I enjoyed your short very much. Best Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out |
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| Messages In This Thread |
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RE: Leopard - by Keith - 02-27-2016, 11:11 PM
RE: Leopard - by Julius - 02-28-2016, 03:19 AM
RE: Leopard - by Erthona - 02-28-2016, 04:49 AM
RE: Leopard - by Julius - 02-28-2016, 07:33 PM
RE: Leopard - by ellajam - 02-28-2016, 09:27 AM
RE: Leopard - by Julius - 02-29-2016, 07:13 PM
RE: Leopard - by Erthona - 02-29-2016, 03:02 AM
RE: Leopard - by srijantje - 02-29-2016, 01:14 PM
RE: Leopard - by Julius - 03-01-2016, 04:25 AM
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