From The Tappan Zee

[John]

FROM THE TAPPAN ZEE

It’s a dismal shot to that god damn city Why god damn, as if it's the city's fault? (I know what you mean.)
you can hardly seen her through the fog
and sometimes you don’t, or never do not at all?
it depends on how often you’ve crossed
but she looks like she stabs straight Far too many uses of she
out of the water
like she ascended with exhaust or ascending?
she’s a siren with a cigarette
I know
‘cause I’ve crossed that bridge before
after a while,eventually/gradually? I quit looking to the side

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Very new and very short one. Looking to go further with it. As usual, beat it up.
Thanks.

You've got some meaningful imagery going on here, but you must communicate it to the reader in the fashion that you want. That includes where accent and stress should be placed via certain words, line endings etc. Minimal punctuation doesn't achieve that: what's the message if readers look at it different ways?

If this piece was properly punctuated, you'd force pauses on the reader just where you want to emphasise the images. And paring out excess words will tighten it up no end.

Just a few suggestions if you could use them. I've enjoyed the mood you've set with this, and look forward to any rework.