From The Tappan Zee

[Wjames]

FROM THE TAPPAN ZEE

It’s a dismal shot to that god damn city  Why not put a period here? Would this be better as "It's a dismal shot of that god damn city"? The rest of the poem is about the view of the city, not the distance (the meaning I got from "shot to").
You can hardly see her through the fog
and sometimes you don’t, or never do
it depends on how often you’ve crossed
but she looks like she stabs straight
out of the water
like she ascended with exhaust,  I think the "like" from two lines up still applies here, no need to have another one in this line.
she’s a siren with a cigarette Too many "she's" for me.
I know,
‘cause I’ve crossed that bridge before I think there should be some punctuation here. I pause after "before".
after a while, I quit looking to the side

------------------------------

Very new and very short one. Looking to go further with it. As usual, beat it up.
Thanks.

I'd never heard of the Tappan Zee bridge, but I googled it, and from that google I presume the city is New York. I like the idea of the poem, learning to avoid looking at this particular landmark.

I think this thing really needs more punctuation though (it's just one long sentence right now). I had to reread sections and add my own punctuation as I read it in order to give it the appropriate pauses, and that's work I shouldn't have to do.