04-26-2015, 02:35 PM
Hi Brenkin,
Normally I don't enjoy meta-poetry, as I've always found it sort of pretentious (though I'll admit I've written more than one poem about writer's block myself). However, I very much enjoyed this poem. Others have suggested that you change up the rhyme scheme to make it more consistent, but I rather like it the way it is (though I'm inclined to agree with MrTurnipHead that your use of "mitt" comes off as forced). I enjoy the half-rhyme in the final couplet. It creates a sort of... musing tone. I'm left with a feeling that I can only describe as--I can't believe I'm saying this--blue balls, which I imagine was your intention. In that regard, the poem is very effective.
The switch from iambic tetrameter to anapestic tetrameter was pretty jarring. I'm trying to think of a way that you might signal the shift, but I'm coming up empty.
Normally I don't enjoy meta-poetry, as I've always found it sort of pretentious (though I'll admit I've written more than one poem about writer's block myself). However, I very much enjoyed this poem. Others have suggested that you change up the rhyme scheme to make it more consistent, but I rather like it the way it is (though I'm inclined to agree with MrTurnipHead that your use of "mitt" comes off as forced). I enjoy the half-rhyme in the final couplet. It creates a sort of... musing tone. I'm left with a feeling that I can only describe as--I can't believe I'm saying this--blue balls, which I imagine was your intention. In that regard, the poem is very effective.
The switch from iambic tetrameter to anapestic tetrameter was pretty jarring. I'm trying to think of a way that you might signal the shift, but I'm coming up empty.