Backlit Nature

[tectak]

though im a little nervous to post this, since i rarely share any of my poetry, i figured i might as well find out if it was any good or not.  

Backlit Nature Revision 2

The rising Sun spills sanguine gold,
From spotty splits in skin.
The drops descend so ceaselessly
Wetting earths tilted spin.

The greenery spreads with quickness
Their leafy limbs bend over
Trees tilt, raising lips to the sun,
Drinking their honeyed lover--

Brown grasses sway incessantly,
whispering words of wind,
Dubbed blades merely by  appearance,
They bow to simple skin

Sweet singers perch on vantage points,
Ruffling plumage proud.
Silky syllables, meaningless,
Unless they're hear aloud.

White tipped waves wash upon the sand
Salty upon grey shore
A wondrous azure spectacle
But bound to grey moons core

Her eyes as true as cat or hawk
Though deeper than green sea
More soulful than an animals,
With no reason to be.

Two wondrous globes sit in sockets,
As strong as worlds alone,
Never behold such great beauty,
Still staring at a phone


origionalspelling


The Sun spills sanguine gold, punctuation
From spotty splits in skin.
Drops descend, innumerable,
Wetting earthspunctuation tilted spin.

Greenery graces all places,
leafy limbs lumber all over,
Trees tilt tacitly to sun,
Drinking their honeyed lover.

The feline fixates fully,
All focuses finely tuned.
Springing on shadowy specters,
Feeling fall flowers bloomed. Grammar

Grasses sway incessantly,
whispering wise words of wind,
Dubbed blades by mere appearance,
They bow soft to simple skin meaning

Sweet singers sit still,
Ruffling plumage so proud.
Silky syllables, meaningless,
Unless they are hear aloud. sense and word use

White tipped waves wash, grammar
Salt upon sandy shore
A wondrous azure beauty,
Bound to grey moonspunctuation core grammar

Her eyes as feline or hawk, sense
Though deeper than green sea
More emotion than simple mammal, sense
With no easy reason to be.

Two wondrous globes in sockets,
More powerful than worlds alone,
Would never behold such beauty,
Ignorantly stare into a phone

Hi hope,
You have had some good advice already. It would be interesting to see if you can apply it. If you intend revising could I tentatively suggest that you discipline yourself regarding the rules of grammar and syntax. Because this is in novice I have highlighted errors but leave you to correct them...as an exercise, so to speak. One more thing, it is no longer necessary to capitalise every line. It is very old hat and pointlessly pedantic...quite apart from being confusing
Best,
tectak