Finitude- poem

[Erthona]

Above a freeway I stand—
281 to be exact—



Watching dozens of bright lights
approach and pass.
It’s mid-April now,
It’s been four months,
And yet the pain
does not fade.
I want it to end
But know it won’t
and against my will
fresh tears begin anew.
I edge forward,
Ready to embrace my finiteness ,

Maybe "finiteness" just seems to stick in the mouth. The above is not a suggestion, just an example of how you might change it.

But an image of you supplants itself
within my mind.
And I step away
And realize that
despite my sorrow,
despite my pain,
You make my life
worth living.

edit last four lines.

"I step away
realizing that
despite my sorrow,
and my pain,
you make my life
worth living."

There is really nothing that is original here, except "HWY 281", I like that part. I wish there was more observation about the surrounding than just this self obsessed monologue. If you create an external world that is real, it makes your internal monologue more immediate and serious.

Best,


Dale