No pity for the weak.

[ellajam]

Hi, Ryan, you've really found a rhythm in the first half here that pulled me in. You seem to lose it later on, but I think you could make this work. Here are some notes.

I know a man,
A quiet man,
a man whom I despise.
A murderous rage rises every time i look in his eyes.

Where does this hate come from,
I really could not say...
But this hate is real,
it is growing everyday.

Our lives are intertwined, his fate, bound.
A fate that leaves him buried, 6 feet underground.

I watch his every movement,
take note of every flaw,
will keep a vigilant eye,
till the day my bullet meets his jaw.

sobbing in the corner, pathetic and meek.
The man whom I will put out of MY misery, no pity for the weak. I think you can lose MY here, we know who it is and it throws the meter off.

Hand violently shaking I slowly pull the trigger.
One shot to the head, time to ring the grave digger...

After the shot, I think you could lose these 4 lines, and use L5 instead of your last line.
no more pain,
no more tears,
I felt completely free.
For the first time in my life my soul was at ease.

Raising up from the body I look down and see,
The man whom I despise, the man I killed... It was me..

Just some thoughts if you're considering an edit.