Poem #2

[oxomiya]

Thanks rowens.

My initial cut contained an extra paragraph. I took it out to sound more vague and take out some more context:

Stepping in snow
Your warmth melts
Love drains
Sucked through the thumb
Of the child in your arms

Love passes
By the window
On the streets
With a hint of Jasmine
Twice a day

I love you
Has already been said
I will wait

What do you think?

The ideas sound good. The second stanza could work better in another poem. It could work in this poem. What do you think?