11-28-2013, 07:23 PM
This is a rework of a poem I posted here a while ago
I have the poem saved as an image because the format is kinda goofy but im having trouble embedding it. Here is a link though http://i.imgur.com/WPxIKwL.png
and i'll type it out here also but i'd rather have the image critiqued. Ediiited now I think I dont like the image, not sure so critique wich ever I guess, if either > . < Thnx for reading ^^
Dirt drowned fur touching
the edge
of a dry creek
bed
sounds like the hiss
between
warbling notes on a tired cassette tape
I found in my parents'
attic.
The bones were scattered —
white sprites dancing with earth
to the spinning black
entrails inside a plastic
carcass.
Each revolution whittles
the song away, giving more
empty
The thought is too much.
I retreat
to the refuge of my i-
pod and inscribe the shadow
of a ghost into a sheet of
paper.
I have the poem saved as an image because the format is kinda goofy but im having trouble embedding it. Here is a link though http://i.imgur.com/WPxIKwL.png
and i'll type it out here also but i'd rather have the image critiqued. Ediiited now I think I dont like the image, not sure so critique wich ever I guess, if either > . < Thnx for reading ^^
Dirt drowned fur touching
the edge
of a dry creek
bed
sounds like the hiss
between
warbling notes on a tired cassette tape
I found in my parents'
attic.
The bones were scattered —
white sprites dancing with earth
to the spinning black
entrails inside a plastic
carcass.
Each revolution whittles
the song away, giving more
empty
The thought is too much.
I retreat
to the refuge of my i-
pod and inscribe the shadow
of a ghost into a sheet of
paper.