I don't know if I should toss this out or try to tighten it up.. But it was fun!

[Ajax]

I really love this poem, and think you should most definetely keep it. Maybe I use commas too often, but I would suggest changing some of the periods at the ends of the lines to commas, it would help the poem flow better I feel.


For example: "As I've grown older, I have witnessed my friends all leave or die. <----

Either way they are no longer by my side..."