04-21-2013, 05:10 PM
hi eli
the main problem i see with your poem is wordiness. try and give it more depth, it feels as though it's trying to hard to achieve something, but you haven't given it the tools to succeed. for the main part it says a lot but gives very little.
the main problem i see with your poem is wordiness. try and give it more depth, it feels as though it's trying to hard to achieve something, but you haven't given it the tools to succeed. for the main part it says a lot but gives very little.