ready to be analyzed, picked apart, high fived. think "howl"?
#1
logorrhea



“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government.
It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote
themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on,
the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.

The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years. Great nations rise and fall. The people go from bondage to spiritual truth, to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy to
dependence, from dependence back again to bondage.”


--Alexander Fraser Tytler (unverified)




I.


burnt out.

apathetic.

I quit writing good (any) poetry a long time ago,
the mere thought of fleshing one out, makes
me vomit into my mouth.

miniscule amount, more like a 2 oz. reverse shot
of deep chest mucus landing just beyond the epiglottis

then, voluntarily swallowing it back down----a snotrocket
that failed to launch. just 1 oz. shy of the required volume
for simple porcelain or street exploration.

take umbrage to the word "vomit"? pick one:
upchuck, barf, hurl, Buick, it matters not;

I am not worried about individual ebb or flow, single or double
spaced lines, run-on sentences, rhyming, periods, commas, semicolons, grammar, punctuation, spelling, clever placement of the ambiguous "dot dot dot", "poem" poem syndrome, disappointed fans or rejection letters from starchy assholes posing as editors

(Thunder Sandwich never could write a lick).

yawn.

old hat.

(I am insignificant)

human beings are but a blip.

civilization is merely a hiccup.

the world is an empty oyster shell.

offended?

don't believe me?

Google: "sensi pearl".

I don't give a shit.

I am retired. waiting for the worms, cirrhosis, the brown shirts,

box cars, the glue factory, the gas chamber or the clap.

(since I'm not edible)

perhaps, I'll get rendered into soap.

Greetings & Salutations:

would you like to turn my ass

into a a lampshade, Mein Fuehrer?


the next executive order, is in order.

your highness, the privilege

is all yours.


II.


"Plug The Damn Hole"

--Barack Hussein Obama II


SEMI-AWAKE!


tick tock.

out from under the rock.

the toad's last croak and testament:

I look around. I see modern art, culture, music, methods, meme,

madness and politics and I raise you zero.

nothing. nada. zip.

age, pussy, weed and money seems to have pacified eddie vedder.

rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum...

Chappaquiddick karma finally seeped into Ted's brain.

rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum...

charlie Sheen and Justin Bieber, meh, too easy.

(too and to will never equal for)

across the board, the lowest common denominator has been breached:

ipads. saggy pants. texting. sheeple. zombies. Demicans/Republicrats. reality tv. meth. globalists. "Occupy". Tea Parties. GREEN (anything). "The Drudge Report". culture wars.
Doomers. Progressives. "The Huffington Post". LiLo. Kardashian(s). JLO. Chris Matthews. Rush Limbaugh. Ted Nugent. Rachel Maddow. Glenn Beck. Lady Gaga. Britney Spears. Madonna (and her stinky old minge). wall street. Black Swans. TSA. tasers. HOMELAND SECURITY. PETA. "the shocker". debt. spending. Greece. China. capitalists.
socialist. austerity. KING DOLLAR. the euro. THE FEDERAL RESERVE. Fukushima Daiichi.

THE EMPIRE.

(sigh)

gays. straights. metro-sexuals. transtesticles. terrorists. electric cars. abortion. bible thumpers. obama. . the race card. koran burners. global warming. drones (foreign and domestic). the mayan calendar. designer dogs. pink slime, robo-calls, bath salts, manufactured junk. lawsuits. brain dead consumers, atheists, muslims, jews, christians, hindus. infomercials, dole, plastic surgery. "turbo tax" Timothy Geithner. golden parachutes. unions.
"helicopter" Ben Bernanke. "wide stance" senators. Gen X. Gen Y. facebook. blogs. baby boomers. man bags. tramp stamps. twitter. CROCS. UGGS. white trash. crackers. black trash. gangsters. ebonics (belee dat). purists. blue bloods. illegal aliens (undocumented workers). DOUBLE SPEAK. THE PATRIOT ACT. THE HOUSE. THE SENATE. Ronald (Wilson) Reagan. THE POLITICALLY CORRECT.
Karl (Heinrich) Marx. BIG OIL. BIG PHARMA. high fructose corn syrup. BLACK OPS. yellow dye no. 5. genetically modified crops. opioids. stimulants. sleep aids. anti-anxieties. narcotics. stink bugs. bed bugs. cockroaches. Lyme Disease. the dow jones industrial average. TICKS. CORRUPTION. PROPAGANDA. Warren Buffet. Mel Gibson. George Ure. Julian Assange. tin foil hats. Ryan Seacrest.
GOVERNMENT. HUMANITY(?). misogynists. misandrists. misanthropes. LOBBYISTS.

and

you.

YOU...

I AM OUT OF BREATH!

never before in the history of this planet
has a species (so richly) deserved an extinction
event.

it's de-evolution, baby.

americans (humans in general) have little intellectual capacity, even less heart, no art. zero stones.

this place, these people, our leaders are a disgrace...

the whole world is ancient Rome on a slow smolder.

"Surely some revelation is at hand;" (Yeats)

we have lost our way, creativity, individualism, intelligence, freedom and sanity.

World War III will be fought over oil, rare earth elements & money (many will die).


trite truisms survive the ages for a reason:

War follows depession.

the pen is mightier than the sword.

(good) poetry and politics don't mix.


Gunter Grass, can kiss my lampshade.


what the world needs now is a large dose of Harry Crews (RIP), Sitting Bull, Patrick Henry, Sun Tzu,

Charlemagne, Roy Batty, Hadji Murat and Thomas Paine.


the current crop

is less than animal

fertilizer

(dung).

Mussolini hung in the

square of Piazzale Loreto.

bread...

Saddam swung on "youtube"

in Kadhimiya at Camp Justice.

circus...

meaningless phlegm, hacked up, throated and swallowed.

the world spins

on, and on. ad nauseam.



III.


WAKE UP!


I will never cower before any master or bend under any threat. It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid; to think and act for myself; enjoy the benefits of my creations and to face the world boldly and say, this I have done.

--Dean Alfange, Circa 1952.


kill the governing body and the head will roll.

turn off the t.v. set

throw away the cell phone

cut the cord on the internet

unplug.

wake up.

pay attention.

don't ask permission.

DISOBEY.

smash a surveillance camera.

stop banking.

stop buying.

default.

credit card/mortgage agreements
are a get fucked clause in fine print.
the moral issue is moot unless morality
exists on both sides of the ledger.

ever meet an honest politician,
CEO or banker?

how about character?

integrity?

walk away.

ABSOLVED!

go in peace.

end fiat currency.

stop fractional reserve banking.

hide silver or gold under your mattress

then dig a huge hole in the backyard and bury

the entire bed.

refuse an airport security pat down.

neuter a bullying soccer mom.

take off the seatbelt.

have a few drinks, fuck it,

drive.

don't declare (all) income to the IRS.

barter.

DISOBEY.

be spartan.

plant a garden.

put on some muck boots and kick some horse shit

(pig shit takes real guts).

hike 10 miles with a full rucksack.

lift heavy things.

break a sweat.

DO PUSH UPS.

eat clean.

meditate.

fast.

read the good book.

hell, read any book.

peel off the the layers of moral

and physical pollution.

DISOBEY.

THINK.

strive to be human.

feed an unemployed neighbor.

pay his/her delinquent electric bill,

any bill except for t.v., phone or internet.

hold the door open for an elderly lady

smile, nod, say, "after you, ma'am".

tune out, turn off, drop in.

save your children from being (serfs) debt slaves.

kiss your dog on the lips (they go too quick).

break away from the herd.

reclaim individualism.

(be different)

while walking the crowded produce aisle,

loudly recite "The Second Coming" by William Butler Yeats

embarrass the wife/husband/kids.

don't apologize.

(history repeats?)

distill some back yard corn liquor.

make music.

rub your legs together like a cricket,

dance.

DISOBEY.

get off meds.

smoke.

do.

be.

rage, hollar, scream.


aye chihuahua...am I getting thru?


(this bullshit isn't new)


American Indians were collectively seduced
and softened with beads, blankets, trinkets,
sugar and whiskey. once proud, independent
and noble men & women, summarily rounded up
and forced onto the reservation.

what is your poison?

xanax?

a holy host of others?

10 mg. of this.

5 mg. of that.

C'mon.


turn off "Dancing With The Stars".


LIVE, YOU MINDLESS AUTOMATON!


pick up a pen
and slit some throats
like H.L. Mencken


write your first or last poem.

vomit into your mouth, by God,


(don't swallow it)


SPIT.


IV.


OH, MY STARS AND GARTERS!


"There is the moral of all human tales;
Tis but the same rehearsal of the past,
First Freedom, and then Glory — when that fails,
Wealth, vice, corruption, — barbarism at last.
And History, with all her volumes vast,
Hath but one page, — ’tis better written here,
Where gorgeous Tyranny hath thus amass’d
All treasures, all delights, that eye or ear,
Heart, soul could seek, tongue ask — Away with words! draw near"


--Lord Byron, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, CVIII. (1812)



the box cars are rolling down the track. regardless of race, creed or color, our greed, ignorance and apathy have fattened us for the slaughter. history may not repeat but it often rhymes. depression, war, holocaust or famine. I know not what form W.B. Yeats beast will wrap itself in this time. all I know is the paradigm has shifted. the demon will be fed.

the beast is loose.


"Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;" (Yeats)



world war, soup lines
perhaps worse is coming
to our shores.


(the hour is late)


a hole in the sand

will not offer any protection

for your shallow head now, liebchen.



read Ecclesiastes

3:1-8


better still, pick up a torch

and a pitchfork.


(poke 'em in the ass)


winter

is

here.


just out of the range of sight,

a brazen (2) winged beast laughs...


(LOL)

estatic.

destruction.

(OMG)


cue up Ludwig van Beethoven - Piano Sonata No. 14 in C-sharp minor,

on your Ipad, bitchez.


(funeral dirge)


multiple suns in the sunset,

your highness?


the lowest common denominator has been breached.


(de-evolution)


a requiem for the humanzee?


VI.


hiccup...


You are all a bunch of fucking idiots. Lettin' people tell you what you are going to do. Lettin' people push you around. How long do think it is going to last? How long are you going to let it go on? How long are you going to let them push you around? How long? Maybe you like it. Maybe you like being pushed around. Maybe you love it. Maybe you love your face stuck in the shit. C'mon. You love it, Don't ya? You love it. You are all a bunch of slaves. Letting everybody push you around. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do?

--James Douglas Morrison


chicken cacciatore.

ichabod crane.

jimmy beard.


(bit nonsense 2x)


piss on, piss on
my leg, my leg or
on my head


people never learn.


does this threaten you sensibilities?


place micro-cracks in your walnut shell brains?


(Warren Zevon - "Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner")


think.


disobey.


fuck off.


(kiss my big nuts)


peace?
Reply
#2
(04-20-2013, 01:36 PM)trueenigma Wrote:  Jeez.. it's a goddam volume. Nice to meet you man, hope you stick around. Btw this is a workshop. I was gonna do line by line but half the time wasn't even sure what was yours and what was quotes. Still, thanks. Nihilist angst, good times.

yup. long poems can be tough, especially in 2013. I thought ample warning was given when I wrote "Howl" in header. we live in a blurb society/time. thankfully, I am a dinosaur. made a splash (ripple) in the small press scene a la gerald locklin. truth be told, we were all aborted bukowski. difference being there was only 1 john martin (publisher/pusher/editor/believer).

anywho, "Do What Thou Wilt. So Mete It Be." in other words, "che sara sara". smell me? feel me? whatever the youngins currently say?
thanks for the read.
Reply
#3
(04-20-2013, 12:50 PM)chingachgook Wrote:  logorrhea



“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government.
It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote
themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on,
the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.

The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years. Great nations rise and fall. The people go from bondage to spiritual truth, to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy to
dependence, from dependence back again to bondage.”


--Alexander Fraser Tytler (unverified)




I.


burnt out.

apathetic.

I quit writing good (any) poetry a long time ago,
the mere thought of fleshing one out, makes
me vomit into my mouth.

miniscule amount, more like a 2 oz. reverse shot
of deep chest mucus landing just beyond the epiglottis

then, voluntarily swallowing it back down----a snotrocket
that failed to launch. just 1 oz. shy of the required volume
for simple porcelain or street exploration.

take umbrage to the word "vomit"? pick one:
upchuck, barf, hurl, Buick, it matters not;

I am not worried about individual ebb or flow, single or double
spaced lines, run-on sentences, rhyming, periods, commas, semicolons, grammar, punctuation, spelling, clever placement of the ambiguous "dot dot dot", "poem" poem syndrome, disappointed fans or rejection letters from starchy assholes posing as editors

(Thunder Sandwich never could write a lick).

yawn.

old hat.

(I am insignificant)

human beings are but a blip.

civilization is merely a hiccup.

the world is an empty oyster shell.

offended?

don't believe me?

Google: "sensi pearl".

I don't give a shit.

I am retired. waiting for the worms, cirrhosis, the brown shirts,

box cars, the glue factory, the gas chamber or the clap.

(since I'm not edible)

perhaps, I'll get rendered into soap.

Greetings & Salutations:

would you like to turn my ass

into a a lampshade, Mein Fuehrer?


the next executive order, is in order.

your highness, the privilege

is all yours.


II.


"Plug The Damn Hole"

--Barack Hussein Obama II


SEMI-AWAKE!


tick tock.

out from under the rock.

the toad's last croak and testament:

I look around. I see modern art, culture, music, methods, meme,

madness and politics and I raise you zero.

nothing. nada. zip.

age, pussy, weed and money seems to have pacified eddie vedder.

rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum...

Chappaquiddick karma finally seeped into Ted's brain.

rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum...

charlie Sheen and Justin Bieber, meh, too easy.

(too and to will never equal for)

across the board, the lowest common denominator has been breached:

ipads. saggy pants. texting. sheeple. zombies. Demicans/Republicrats. reality tv. meth. globalists. "Occupy". Tea Parties. GREEN (anything). "The Drudge Report". culture wars.
Doomers. Progressives. "The Huffington Post". LiLo. Kardashian(s). JLO. Chris Matthews. Rush Limbaugh. Ted Nugent. Rachel Maddow. Glenn Beck. Lady Gaga. Britney Spears. Madonna (and her stinky old minge). wall street. Black Swans. TSA. tasers. HOMELAND SECURITY. PETA. "the shocker". debt. spending. Greece. China. capitalists.
socialist. austerity. KING DOLLAR. the euro. THE FEDERAL RESERVE. Fukushima Daiichi.

THE EMPIRE.

(sigh)

gays. straights. metro-sexuals. transtesticles. terrorists. electric cars. abortion. bible thumpers. obama. . the race card. koran burners. global warming. drones (foreign and domestic). the mayan calendar. designer dogs. pink slime, robo-calls, bath salts, manufactured junk. lawsuits. brain dead consumers, atheists, muslims, jews, christians, hindus. infomercials, dole, plastic surgery. "turbo tax" Timothy Geithner. golden parachutes. unions.
"helicopter" Ben Bernanke. "wide stance" senators. Gen X. Gen Y. facebook. blogs. baby boomers. man bags. tramp stamps. twitter. CROCS. UGGS. white trash. crackers. black trash. gangsters. ebonics (belee dat). purists. blue bloods. illegal aliens (undocumented workers). DOUBLE SPEAK. THE PATRIOT ACT. THE HOUSE. THE SENATE. Ronald (Wilson) Reagan. THE POLITICALLY CORRECT.
Karl (Heinrich) Marx. BIG OIL. BIG PHARMA. high fructose corn syrup. BLACK OPS. yellow dye no. 5. genetically modified crops. opioids. stimulants. sleep aids. anti-anxieties. narcotics. stink bugs. bed bugs. cockroaches. Lyme Disease. the dow jones industrial average. TICKS. CORRUPTION. PROPAGANDA. Warren Buffet. Mel Gibson. George Ure. Julian Assange. tin foil hats. Ryan Seacrest.
GOVERNMENT. HUMANITY(?). misogynists. misandrists. misanthropes. LOBBYISTS.

and

you.

YOU...

I AM OUT OF BREATH!

never before in the history of this planet
has a species (so richly) deserved an extinction
event.

it's de-evolution, baby.

americans (humans in general) have little intellectual capacity, even less heart, no art. zero stones.

this place, these people, our leaders are a disgrace...

the whole world is ancient Rome on a slow smolder.

"Surely some revelation is at hand;" (Yeats)

we have lost our way, creativity, individualism, intelligence, freedom and sanity.

World War III will be fought over oil, rare earth elements & money (many will die).


trite truisms survive the ages for a reason:

War follows depession.

the pen is mightier than the sword.

(good) poetry and politics don't mix.


Gunter Grass, can kiss my lampshade.


what the world needs now is a large dose of Harry Crews (RIP), Sitting Bull, Patrick Henry, Sun Tzu,

Charlemagne, Roy Batty, Hadji Murat and Thomas Paine.


the current crop

is less than animal

fertilizer

(dung).

Mussolini hung in the

square of Piazzale Loreto.

bread...

Saddam swung on "youtube"

in Kadhimiya at Camp Justice.

circus...

meaningless phlegm, hacked up, throated and swallowed.

the world spins

on, and on. ad nauseam.



III.


WAKE UP!


I will never cower before any master or bend under any threat. It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid; to think and act for myself; enjoy the benefits of my creations and to face the world boldly and say, this I have done.

--Dean Alfange, Circa 1952.


kill the governing body and the head will roll.

turn off the t.v. set

throw away the cell phone

cut the cord on the internet

unplug.

wake up.

pay attention.

don't ask permission.

DISOBEY.

smash a surveillance camera.

stop banking.

stop buying.

default.

credit card/mortgage agreements
are a get fucked clause in fine print.
the moral issue is moot unless morality
exists on both sides of the ledger.

ever meet an honest politician,
CEO or banker?

how about character?

integrity?

walk away.

ABSOLVED!

go in peace.

end fiat currency.

stop fractional reserve banking.

hide silver or gold under your mattress

then dig a huge hole in the backyard and bury

the entire bed.

refuse an airport security pat down.

neuter a bullying soccer mom.

take off the seatbelt.

have a few drinks, fuck it,

drive.

don't declare (all) income to the IRS.

barter.

DISOBEY.

be spartan.

plant a garden.

put on some muck boots and kick some horse shit

(pig shit takes real guts).

hike 10 miles with a full rucksack.

lift heavy things.

break a sweat.

DO PUSH UPS.

eat clean.

meditate.

fast.

read the good book.

hell, read any book.

peel off the the layers of moral

and physical pollution.

DISOBEY.

THINK.

strive to be human.

feed an unemployed neighbor.

pay his/her delinquent electric bill,

any bill except for t.v., phone or internet.

hold the door open for an elderly lady

smile, nod, say, "after you, ma'am".

tune out, turn off, drop in.

save your children from being (serfs) debt slaves.

kiss your dog on the lips (they go too quick).

break away from the herd.

reclaim individualism.

(be different)

while walking the crowded produce aisle,

loudly recite "The Second Coming" by William Butler Yeats

embarrass the wife/husband/kids.

don't apologize.

(history repeats?)

distill some back yard corn liquor.

make music.

rub your legs together like a cricket,

dance.

DISOBEY.

get off meds.

smoke.

do.

be.

rage, hollar, scream.


aye chihuahua...am I getting thru?


(this bullshit isn't new)


American Indians were collectively seduced
and softened with beads, blankets, trinkets,
sugar and whiskey. once proud, independent
and noble men & women, summarily rounded up
and forced onto the reservation.

what is your poison?

xanax?

a holy host of others?

10 mg. of this.

5 mg. of that.

C'mon.


turn off "Dancing With The Stars".


LIVE, YOU MINDLESS AUTOMATON!


pick up a pen
and slit some throats
like H.L. Mencken


write your first or last poem.

vomit into your mouth, by God,


(don't swallow it)


SPIT.


IV.


OH, MY STARS AND GARTERS!


"There is the moral of all human tales;
Tis but the same rehearsal of the past,
First Freedom, and then Glory — when that fails,
Wealth, vice, corruption, — barbarism at last.
And History, with all her volumes vast,
Hath but one page, — ’tis better written here,
Where gorgeous Tyranny hath thus amass’d
All treasures, all delights, that eye or ear,
Heart, soul could seek, tongue ask — Away with words! draw near"


--Lord Byron, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, CVIII. (1812)



the box cars are rolling down the track. regardless of race, creed or color, our greed, ignorance and apathy have fattened us for the slaughter. history may not repeat but it often rhymes. depression, war, holocaust or famine. I know not what form W.B. Yeats beast will wrap itself in this time. all I know is the paradigm has shifted. the demon will be fed.

the beast is loose.


"Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;" (Yeats)



world war, soup lines
perhaps worse is coming
to our shores.


(the hour is late)


a hole in the sand

will not offer any protection

for your shallow head now, liebchen.



read Ecclesiastes

3:1-8


better still, pick up a torch

and a pitchfork.


(poke 'em in the ass)


winter

is

here.


just out of the range of sight,

a brazen (2) winged beast laughs...


(LOL)

estatic.

destruction.

(OMG)


cue up Ludwig van Beethoven - Piano Sonata No. 14 in C-sharp minor,

on your Ipad, bitchez.


(funeral dirge)


multiple suns in the sunset,

your highness?


the lowest common denominator has been breached.


(de-evolution)


a requiem for the humanzee?


VI.


hiccup...


You are all a bunch of fucking idiots. Lettin' people tell you what you are going to do. Lettin' people push you around. How long do think it is going to last? How long are you going to let it go on? How long are you going to let them push you around? How long? Maybe you like it. Maybe you like being pushed around. Maybe you love it. Maybe you love your face stuck in the shit. C'mon. You love it, Don't ya? You love it. You are all a bunch of slaves. Letting everybody push you around. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do?

--James Douglas Morrison


chicken cacciatore.

ichabod crane.
[
jimmy beard.


(bit nonsense 2x)


piss on, piss on
my leg, my leg or
on my head


people never learn.


does this threaten you sensibilities?


place micro-cracks in your walnut shell brains?


(Warren Zevon - "Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner")


think.


disobey.


fuck off.


(kiss my big nuts)


peace?
Hi ching,
Welcome to the boards. This is a lot of old beer. It should have matured in the keg but you bottled too early. Structurally it is a deliberate mess...and that is the main problem. As a rant it lacks focus or even an obvious enemy...accordingly it reads like an impotent if ubiquitous monologue. As this is a poetry forum you might expect crit to be based on at least one of the parameters of the poetic endeavour but I feel you should repost this in novice where the complete lack of anything even remotely literary will encourage the good souls there to advise you.
Look, if there is merit in this it is because of its length...but length isn't everything unless talking turds.Smile which I suspect you oftimes do under the guise of commentary by your third personnas. As a method of promoting a viewpoint or an opinion this is as useful a technique as the radicalisation of goldfish...and you don't see that often. I wonder why.
Line breaks gratuitous.
Try to precision bomb your audience...scatter bombing is wasteful.
Best,
tectak

Late PS. I'm not saying its bad....just not crittable in this forum. I did the best I could to pick the poetry out of it but like most rants it is what it is and that's that. If you want it to be read and appreciated as a glorifiable piece of writing stick it in miscellaneous....or read it to your mother. She will say "That's nice, dear." Smile
Reply
#4
what to say. it's long Hysterical

i think it's a bloody great big open mic rant that would be an excellent piece of entertainment. i could never line by line it. but i've read it a few times and some of the ideas/thoughts spill over into subsequent sections of the poem. while i had no problem with this, it could perhaps be better served without some of the redundancies and repetitions.
the voice in the piece is explosive. it flirts with cliche on more than a few occasions but bugger me, i love it. while it's generalised, it does cover enough ground to be original. i think the use of the block lists was used to it full potential and i think the mescaline you took worked fine, the poem is like some kind of connection to the ills of the psych. it's a train of thought that never ends, the line spacing extended the poem a little to much but i still enjoyed it.
Reply
#5
I don't like it a whole lot. But it's a dislike that I enjoy, which means I like it a little. Too many people say the same things, to the point it don't matter.

This poem is too interested. I hate all the stuff you hate so much that I'm no longer interested in it.

And I don't care for Rachel Maddow either. Though if you would've mentioned my dear chippy, Erin Burnett, we would have had a problem. To quote one of my unpublished, nobody wants to, poems:

Who needs Rachel Maddow?
Give me Erin Burnett any night.


People don't want to hear this shit. So give them real shit. Vomit's one thing people flush right down. Shit, that leaves a mark.

You can swallow vomit, even someone else's. What everybody's saying to you is: It's too easy to swallow other people's vomit--digest it. Make them eat shit.

Well, that's what I do.
Reply
#6
(04-20-2013, 12:50 PM)chingachgook Wrote:  logorrhea

“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government.
It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote
themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on,
the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.

The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years. Great nations rise and fall. The people go from bondage to spiritual truth, to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy to
dependence, from dependence back again to bondage.”


--Alexander Fraser Tytler (unverified)

-- this is a very long quote to use as a prelude to a poem and frankly, it's not a very good one. This has been said a million times, but far more succinctly.


I.


burnt out.

apathetic.

I quit writing good (any) poetry a long time ago, -- the comma is misplaced
the mere thought of fleshing one out, makes -- and so is this one
me vomit into my mouth.

miniscule amount, more like a 2 oz. reverse shot -- minuscule
of deep chest mucus landing just beyond the epiglottis -- quite an interesting image

then, voluntarily swallowing it back down----a snotrocket
that failed to launch. just 1 oz. shy of the required volume
for simple porcelain or street exploration.

take umbrage to the word "vomit"? pick one: -- this seems entirely irrelevant and quite belligerent on the part of the poet -- if I weren't doing a critique, I'd probably switch off about now as I resent being told what I'm thinking
upchuck, barf, hurl, Buick, it matters not;

I am not worried about individual ebb or flow, single or double
spaced lines, run-on sentences, rhyming, periods, commas, semicolons, grammar, punctuation, spelling, clever placement of the ambiguous "dot dot dot", "poem" poem syndrome, disappointed fans or rejection letters from starchy assholes posing as editors -- or, apparently, by readers who have high standards

(Thunder Sandwich never could write a lick).

yawn.

old hat.

(I am insignificant)

human beings are but a blip.

civilization is merely a hiccup.

the world is an empty oyster shell.

offended? -- why would this offend anyone?

don't believe me?

Google: "sensi pearl".

I don't give a shit.

I am retired. waiting for the worms, cirrhosis, the brown shirts,

box cars, the glue factory, the gas chamber or the clap.

(since I'm not edible)

perhaps, I'll get rendered into soap.

Greetings & Salutations:

would you like to turn my ass

into a a lampshade, Mein Fuehrer?


the next executive order, is in order.

your highness, the privilege

is all yours.


II.


"Plug The Damn Hole"

--Barack Hussein Obama II


SEMI-AWAKE!


tick tock.

out from under the rock.

the toad's last croak and testament:

I look around. I see modern art, culture, music, methods, meme,

madness and politics and I raise you zero.

nothing. nada. zip.

age, pussy, weed and money seems to have pacified eddie vedder.

rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum...

Chappaquiddick karma finally seeped into Ted's brain.

rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum...

charlie Sheen and Justin Bieber, meh, too easy. -- the inconsistent capitals are starting to really irritate by this point and just look like you haven't been bothered to proofread -- if that's a deliberate ploy, it seems utterly pointless

(too and to will never equal for) -- this is an amusing non sequitur, rather in keeping with the title

across the board, the lowest common denominator has been breached:

ipads. saggy pants. texting. sheeple. zombies. Demicans/Republicrats. reality tv. meth. globalists. "Occupy". Tea Parties. GREEN (anything). "The Drudge Report". culture wars.
Doomers. Progressives. "The Huffington Post". LiLo. Kardashian(s). JLO. Chris Matthews. Rush Limbaugh. Ted Nugent. Rachel Maddow. Glenn Beck. Lady Gaga. Britney Spears. Madonna (and her stinky old minge). wall street. Black Swans. TSA. tasers. HOMELAND SECURITY. PETA. "the shocker". debt. spending. Greece. China. capitalists.
socialist. austerity. KING DOLLAR. the euro. THE FEDERAL RESERVE. Fukushima Daiichi.

THE EMPIRE.

(sigh)

gays. straights. metro-sexuals. transtesticles. terrorists. electric cars. abortion. bible thumpers. obama. . the race card. koran burners. global warming. drones (foreign and domestic). the mayan calendar. designer dogs. pink slime, robo-calls, bath salts, manufactured junk. lawsuits. brain dead consumers, atheists, muslims, jews, christians, hindus. infomercials, dole, plastic surgery. "turbo tax" Timothy Geithner. golden parachutes. unions.
"helicopter" Ben Bernanke. "wide stance" senators. Gen X. Gen Y. facebook. blogs. baby boomers. man bags. tramp stamps. twitter. CROCS. UGGS. white trash. crackers. black trash. gangsters. ebonics (belee dat). purists. blue bloods. illegal aliens (undocumented workers). DOUBLE SPEAK. THE PATRIOT ACT. THE HOUSE. THE SENATE. Ronald (Wilson) Reagan. THE POLITICALLY CORRECT.
Karl (Heinrich) Marx. BIG OIL. BIG PHARMA. high fructose corn syrup. BLACK OPS. yellow dye no. 5. genetically modified crops. opioids. stimulants. sleep aids. anti-anxieties. narcotics. stink bugs. bed bugs. cockroaches. Lyme Disease. the dow jones industrial average. TICKS. CORRUPTION. PROPAGANDA. Warren Buffet. Mel Gibson. George Ure. Julian Assange. tin foil hats. Ryan Seacrest.
GOVERNMENT. HUMANITY(?). misogynists. misandrists. misanthropes. LOBBYISTS.

and

you.

YOU...

I AM OUT OF BREATH!

never before in the history of this planet
has a species (so richly) deserved an extinction
event.

it's de-evolution, baby. -- why not just devolution? Is there a distinction I'm missing?

americans (humans in general) have little intellectual capacity, even less heart, no art. zero stones. -- the parentheses seem to be explaining the term "americans", so that's kind of out of place unless you mean that Americans represent humans in general (and that is of grave concern). You'd be better off using em-dashes.

this place, these people, our leaders are a disgrace...

the whole world is ancient Rome on a slow smolder. -- this analogy really needs to be backed up somehow. If you're alluding to the fire (as represented in popular culture), someone ought to be fiddling. If you're alluding to the downfall of Rome itself, then it didn't happen by fire so the image is misplaced.

"Surely some revelation is at hand;" (Yeats) -- yeah, we get it, you've read stuff -- this becomes less pastiche, more research assignment

we have lost our way, creativity, individualism, intelligence, freedom and sanity. -- so many generalisations -- what was the way?

World War III will be fought over oil, rare earth elements & money (many will die).


trite truisms survive the ages for a reason: -- all truisms are a bit trite -- pick one or the other

War follows depession.

the pen is mightier than the sword.

(good) poetry and politics don't mix.


Gunter Grass, can kiss my lampshade. -- neat link back to the lamp reference in the first part


what the world needs now is a large dose of Harry Crews (RIP), Sitting Bull, Patrick Henry, Sun Tzu,

Charlemagne, Roy Batty, Hadji Murat and Thomas Paine.


the current crop

is less than animal

fertilizer

(dung). -- check your grammar -- dung doesn't actually fertilise animals, does it? So what you really mean is that it's fertiliser produced by animals, which is fairly unpoetic and why bother saying it? Dung will do.

Mussolini hung in the

square of Piazzale Loreto.

bread...

Saddam swung on "youtube"

in Kadhimiya at Camp Justice.

circus...

meaningless phlegm, hacked up, throated and swallowed.

the world spins

on, and on. ad nauseam. -- no comma required


III.


WAKE UP!


I will never cower before any master or bend under any threat. It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid; to think and act for myself; enjoy the benefits of my creations and to face the world boldly and say, this I have done.

--Dean Alfange, Circa 1952.


kill the governing body and the head will roll. -- well, only if you kill it by decapitation, and on a slope.

turn off the t.v. set

throw away the cell phone

cut the cord on the internet

unplug.

wake up.

pay attention.

don't ask permission.

DISOBEY.

smash a surveillance camera.

stop banking.

stop buying.

default.

credit card/mortgage agreements
are a get fucked clause in fine print.
the moral issue is moot unless morality
exists on both sides of the ledger.

ever meet an honest politician,
CEO or banker?

how about character?

integrity?

walk away.

ABSOLVED!

go in peace.

end fiat currency.

stop fractional reserve banking.

hide silver or gold under your mattress

then dig a huge hole in the backyard and bury

the entire bed.

refuse an airport security pat down.

neuter a bullying soccer mom.

take off the seatbelt.

have a few drinks, fuck it,

drive.

don't declare (all) income to the IRS.

barter.

DISOBEY.

be spartan.

plant a garden.

put on some muck boots and kick some horse shit

(pig shit takes real guts).

hike 10 miles with a full rucksack.

lift heavy things.

break a sweat.

DO PUSH UPS.

eat clean.

meditate.

fast.

read the good book.

hell, read any book.

peel off the the layers of moral

and physical pollution.

DISOBEY.

THINK.

strive to be human.

feed an unemployed neighbor.

pay his/her delinquent electric bill,

any bill except for t.v., phone or internet.

hold the door open for an elderly lady

smile, nod, say, "after you, ma'am".

tune out, turn off, drop in.

save your children from being (serfs) debt slaves.

kiss your dog on the lips (they go too quick).

break away from the herd.

reclaim individualism.

(be different)

while walking the crowded produce aisle,

loudly recite "The Second Coming" by William Butler Yeats

embarrass the wife/husband/kids.

don't apologize.

(history repeats?)

distill some back yard corn liquor.

make music.

rub your legs together like a cricket,

dance.

DISOBEY.

get off meds.

smoke.

do.

be.

rage, hollar, scream. -- holler


aye chihuahua...am I getting thru? -- yes. You advocate disobedience for its own sake. That's just throwing tantrums -- grown ups disobey to make a point in protest, not to be pricks.


(this bullshit isn't new)


American Indians were collectively seduced -- from this point to the end of this section is worth keeping -- what goes before is pretty ordinary and adds nothing
and softened with beads, blankets, trinkets,
sugar and whiskey. once proud, independent
and noble men & women, summarily rounded up
and forced onto the reservation.

what is your poison?

xanax?

a holy host of others?

10 mg. of this.

5 mg. of that.

C'mon.


turn off "Dancing With The Stars".


LIVE, YOU MINDLESS AUTOMATON!


pick up a pen
and slit some throats
like H.L. Mencken


write your first or last poem.

vomit into your mouth, by God,


(don't swallow it)


SPIT.


IV.


OH, MY STARS AND GARTERS!


"There is the moral of all human tales;
Tis but the same rehearsal of the past,
First Freedom, and then Glory — when that fails,
Wealth, vice, corruption, — barbarism at last.
And History, with all her volumes vast,
Hath but one page, — ’tis better written here,
Where gorgeous Tyranny hath thus amass’d
All treasures, all delights, that eye or ear,
Heart, soul could seek, tongue ask — Away with words! draw near"


--Lord Byron, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, CVIII. (1812)



the box cars are rolling down the track. regardless of race, creed or color, our greed, ignorance and apathy have fattened us for the slaughter. history may not repeat but it often rhymes. depression, war, holocaust or famine. I know not what form W.B. Yeats beast will wrap itself in this time. all I know is the paradigm has shifted. the demon will be fed. -- why beat us over the head by saying "W.B Yeats' beast"? You've already told us what poem you're constantly alluding to, and we've all read it or if we haven't, we're not likely to bother on your say-so. Just "beast" is perfectly sufficient -- give your audience a bit of credit. Though what paradigm shift you're referring to, I cannot say. It seems to me that The Second Coming is just as relevant now as it was then.

the beast is loose.


"Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;" (Yeats) -- yes, all right already, we get it!



world war, soup lines
perhaps worse is coming
to our shores. -- "perhaps" is such low modality that it makes this entire statement bland -- "gosh, maybe something bad will happen but maybe I'm wrong, never mind"


(the hour is late)


a hole in the sand

will not offer any protection

for your shallow head now, liebchen.



read Ecclesiastes

3:1-8 -- why not just quote it? You've quoted everything else


better still, pick up a torch

and a pitchfork.


(poke 'em in the ass)


winter

is

here. -- good one, Ned Stark


just out of the range of sight,

a brazen (2) winged beast laughs...


(LOL)

estatic.

destruction.

(OMG)


cue up Ludwig van Beethoven - Piano Sonata No. 14 in C-sharp minor,

on your Ipad, bitchez.


(funeral dirge)


multiple suns in the sunset,

your highness?


the lowest common denominator has been breached.


(de-evolution)


a requiem for the humanzee?


VI.


hiccup...


You are all a bunch of fucking idiots. Lettin' people tell you what you are going to do. Lettin' people push you around. How long do think it is going to last? How long are you going to let it go on? How long are you going to let them push you around? How long? Maybe you like it. Maybe you like being pushed around. Maybe you love it. Maybe you love your face stuck in the shit. C'mon. You love it, Don't ya? You love it. You are all a bunch of slaves. Letting everybody push you around. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do?

--James Douglas Morrison


chicken cacciatore.

ichabod crane.

jimmy beard.


(bit nonsense 2x)


piss on, piss on
my leg, my leg or
on my head


people never learn.


does this threaten you sensibilities?


place micro-cracks in your walnut shell brains?


(Warren Zevon - "Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner")


think.


disobey.


fuck off.


(kiss my big nuts)


peace?
No, sorry, I'm not thinking "Howl" at all. Ginsberg used his exceptional control of sonics and meter to create an aesthetic rant with purpose, tapping into the zeitgeist and speaking for pretty much an entire generation. This is mostly just "everything pisses me off and I've read lots of books". It is nothing to do with the length -- but really, poetry should only be as long as it takes to say what you need to. There are a few good ideas here but they're lost in a sea of "look how clever I am, look how many rules I'm breaking, look at me!"

Edit. Please.
It could be worse
Reply
#7
Hello,

so, on a positive, there are some interesting lines; but too random to be thought of as skillful. an infinite number of monkeys springs to mind... write something long enough and you'll say something eventually.

plus, when I read something and the best thing is a random quote by Jim Morrison, I worry the author isn't all too confident.

it lacks 'poetry'; just because you think something, and are possibly more articulate than others, doesn't make it poetic. As in the notion of 'conceptual art': i.e. art can be anything. No It Can't! art is art and poetry, poetry. It is a lesson learned that no one has any interest in what you think if what you think is cliche, or expressed poorly ("am I only dreaming? that is an interesting idea... oh wait, I am 8 and haven't a clue about anything!" that's how this poem sounds.)

I would suggest read more.
Reply
#8
thank you one and all for the input. I get it, it reads like technicolor vomit. it is logorrhea! more or less a word purge of what I see as the great unraveling and the soon to be experienced climax. perhaps, it will make more sense in the future. for now, it remains too jackson pollock.
Reply
#9
(04-21-2013, 08:23 AM)trueenigma Wrote:  No, in the future it would just be even more regurgitated, unless you edit it.

I wanna see a more accurate targeting of the zeitgeist, and less cliched abstractions.
Absolutely true!Wink
tectak
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