Winter Dance

[allykat727]

the attention to meter and sound in this one is better but you spend more time treading through over-familiar water:
"sound of silence"
"cold of night"
and you are relying more on abstractions and poetic constructions:
"waterfalls of bygones"

"the dust on my lips aches to be made warm" almost evades the hackneyed "my lips ache to be made warm" but not quite.

Still, plenty of details, plenty of imagery, the writing is still quite strong, nice job.

milo

Well put milo, it is a bit cliche isn't it. Thanks for the input!