03-28-2013, 05:26 AM
This was a fun poem to read 
I liked that it had personality and was somewhat nonchalant yet matter of fact.
I liked "which grows longer and louder each day/Mocking me." I think its a strong point in this piece. I liked the unconventional use of 'louder' and then the demonstration of how it was loud in the next line. Nice.
I might suggest that you take out "away" and just leave "Enjoying that my ideas have flown". I think it will flow better since the previous line ends with "way".
The ending was unexpected and humorous. Great job
I liked that it had personality and was somewhat nonchalant yet matter of fact. I liked "which grows longer and louder each day/Mocking me." I think its a strong point in this piece. I liked the unconventional use of 'louder' and then the demonstration of how it was loud in the next line. Nice.
I might suggest that you take out "away" and just leave "Enjoying that my ideas have flown". I think it will flow better since the previous line ends with "way".
The ending was unexpected and humorous. Great job