Self-improvement

[fuzzyllama1]

Self-improvement
 
Brad Pitt once told me
self-improvement is masturbation,
 
but I’ll tell ya, Brad
you don’t have much more
to improve upon.
 
You sure as hell aren’t
masturbating a lot.

[Wjames]

I like how it's both a compliment and a put down - nice use of the back hand.

[RiverNotch]

Self-improvement
 
Brad Pitt once told me
self-improvement is masturbation,
 
but I’ll tell ya, Brad
you don’t have much more
to improve upon.
 
You sure as hell aren’t
masturbating a lot.

Sharp. That said, since "ya" is used in the third line, I think in terms of rhythm and register, "ain't" would be better for the sixth.

[LunaDeLore]

Self-improvement
 
Brad Pitt once told me
self-improvement is masturbation,
 
but I’ll tell ya, Brad
you don’t have much more
to improve upon.
 
You sure as hell aren’t
masturbating a lot.

LoL...much enjoyed read and cleaver pun too.

Luna

[CRNDLSM]

I have to make an objection to the use of brad Pitt. Brad Pitt played Tyler Durden a fictional alter ego of nameless jack from fight club. So who really said it? Edward Norton's character, Tyler durden, brad Pitt or the writers of fight club?

[fuzzyllama1]

Brad Pitt is all and none.
Just as his character; Brad Pitt is not real.
But he feels so very real.