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rayheinrich Offline
Left of Alabaster
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Posts: 444
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Joined: Nov 2011
#1
02-26-2012, 07:08 AM


     new bud
     surprise!
    (as yesterday was frozen)
                                                                                                                a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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billy Offline
Are you alluding to me?
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
#2
04-06-2012, 06:05 PM
the 'as' feels unnecessary
but it's really good, i like that you use a syl count that compliments the piece.
a good haiku.
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