We rose above

[MidaPoems]

We rose above

They need no god,
They surpassed him,
They heed no warning,
They are the danger.

When religion is abandoned,
What do we cling to?
Our twisted
Moral misdirection,
Our hollowed-out judgement.

How could we rise above—
Believe,
When most don’t believe
In themselves,
When the self is a shade,
Gouged by dubiety.

Faith may show no proof,
It offers a path
We refuse to pace.
The world twisted,
Becoming estranged,
A hive for the untethered,
The perilous,
The pagans.

---

It's free verse. but it's mostly if it feels complete, as in, does it hold its value, are the layers deep enough? wording, rephrasing needed?
Thanks in advance.

[dukealien]

We rose above

They need no god,
They surpassed him,  a niggle, but it might add  force:  for one god, capitalization ("They surpassed Him")
They heed no warning,
They are the danger.  excellent

When religion is abandoned,
What do we cling to?
Our twisted  perhaps no line break here, to match the (second to) next line
Moral misdirection,
Our hollowed-out judgement.

How could we rise above—
Believe,
When most don’t believe
In themselves,
When the self is a shade,
Gouged by dubiety.  interesting thought and process in this stanza.  Could end with a question mark.

Faith may show no proof,  strictly speaking, "can" rather than "may" here
It offers a path
We refuse to pace.  nice alternative to "follow" or "tread"
The world twisted,
Becoming estranged,
A hive for the untethered,
The perilous,  Again, a nice alternative (to "dangerous")
The pagans.

In mild to moderate critiique (and though mostly ignoring the specific requests - crit is like a Whitman sampler, you never know what you're getting)...

This is atmospheric, and much (I think) as intended.  A  little chaotic, but following a Labyrinthine thread.  There's some confusion as to who is bemoaning his situation, and who is being traduced for causing it.  Both the same?  It doesn't come across as self-criticism, more as blaming some "other" that sort of, maybe, includes us.  Against our will?

Allowing my elbow to be nudged by the specific request, yes, this has sufficient depth.  I think it could be improved with standard typography, that is, capitalization only as required by sentence structure and optional emphasis; with the short lines and portentous nature universal capitalization looks - and I know this is harsh for mild crit - pretentious.

Unless, of course, that was the point - that without God, we're out of our depth looking for purpose and guidance, and talking biggety as we tiptoe past the graveyard.  The thing about pagans/polytheists is, there was always (is always?) a near-peer entity opposing:  Hera sends snakes against Zeus's by-blow baby, Loki tricks Thor, Coyote tricks everyone--  where with G*d everything has to be explained by His Will and there's only one right answer (Allah, same story).  Pagans have it hard without a One, but Book people must envy them sometimes.

Suggestions for improvement:  see above on typography, and interlinear.  Good poem; it speaks to the quandary of modernity.

[MidaPoems]

In no way do I see your critique as harsh.

The only reason I capitalize the very first word is because it's an old habit that just won't die.
I don't capitalize god, I know, for he isn't important as humans transcended him.
Otherwise, thank you for the critique. It's helpful. The small compliment too.