Delete Please!

[l.i.am]

-Delete Please!-

[whisperer]

This is beautiful and painful and suspenseful and hopeful all at the same time. Your word choices and pacing stir up so much emotion. Great use of line breaks and the hyphens mid line........perfect. The only thing I would touch up on is the use, and sometimes over use, of olde English, or Victorian, language. It does add to the piece, but I think you're talented enough to find words to convey the same emotions without relying on something so cliche. Other than that, this is well written and very well expressed. I will be reading this one over a few more times, for sure. Thanks for sharing

[l.i.am]

-snip-

Thank you for the kind reply, I'm glad the piece has at the very least stirred some kind of emotion. When it comes to archaisms, I felt like I had done it tastefully when I had completed the draft an odd week ago, but I do agree on revision that I can make substitutions without hindering the poetry's message or vibe.

Once again, many thanks for the kind words.