The Family Tree, revisited

[Mark A Becker]

The Family Tree, revisited

Even in broad daylight
as kids call him over
to the brand new tire swing
great-granddad won't go near

that gnarled old southern oak

...........Men swinging on that tree

seared into his mind
a night so long ago
a chilly summer breeze
his blonde hair flowing free.

...........his shock became silence

No one can convince him
now, of his innocence
or how long he should feel
what he saw wasn't real.

...........his story left buried.

[RiverNotch]

revisiting the older versions of this, i honestly prefer the shortest version the most. it's both the most evocative and the most comprehensive, since the emotions all the longer versions -- including this one -- try to portray, in their subtly different ways, the short version fully encapsulates

it might be better to have the sentiments in the stanzas after the fifth line, for all these versions, be their own thing, their own distinct verses

[Mark A Becker]

revisiting the older versions of this, i honestly prefer the shortest version the most. it's both the most evocative and the most comprehensive...

Thanks for the comments, Notch. I have gotten reactions that support either version. I'll keep them both- the shortest, and the current 'revisited' version.

... Mark