Abusive Apologist

[Bunx]

Abusive Apologist

Sounds of her thumbs silent, 
quiet, alone with her child.
Typing her apologies, advice, and sympathies.

Holding her pixelated community
with heart-felt consistency. 

Words of encouragement flow like
a dam holding water from flowing over the edge.
Coming out of my sad scenario she is there 
taking my restless heart to bed.

Whilst sitting there at home being told,
by the man she embraced.  
That she is nothing, but a waste of his time and space.
She will never leave the box she helps maintain.
She will never know compassion, his hate
her fate.

When his hand strikes her face, she breaks down
and tells me.

"I can't take this anymore."

Words of being sorry, start this score.
telling her she is stronger than stigma, ignorance, blind anger,
and abuse.

Words of being there for her friends,
strong for her family,
in a reality run power and money.
Where abuse takes what's wanted

She can give everything
to stop this cycle of abuse,
controlled by fear and illness.
She could run with her son.

Escape the cycle of the abusive apologists
who only loves when one leaves. 
Then quick to leave and abuse the next thing.

I hope you get better, independently walking on your feet.
I hope your silent thumbs will be there once more for me.
I hope your son doesn't hit you like his father did before.
I hope that confidence and love end this score.

[Semicircle]

Abusive Apologist


Sounds of her thumbs are silent, "thumbs silent"
she's quiet, alone with her child.
Typing her apologies, advice, and sympathies.

Holding her pixelated community
typing with heart-felt consistency. typing is redundant

Words of encouragement flow like
a dam holding water from flowing over the edge.
Coming out of my sad scenario she is there,   comma here
taking my restless heart to bed.

Whilst sitting there at home being told,
by the man she embraced.  
A line break is not needed here 
That she is nothing, but a waste of his time and space.
She will never leave the box she helps maintain.
She will never know compassion, his hate
her fate.

When his hand strikes her face, she breaks down
and tells me.

"I can't take this anymore."

Words of being sorry, start this score.
telling her she is stronger than stigma, ignorance, blind anger,
and abuse.

Words of being there for her friends,
strong for her family,
in a reality run by power and money.
Where people take what they want.

She can give everything she can
to stop this cycle of violence, abuse,
controlled by fear and illness.
She could run with her son.

Escape the cycle of the abusive apologists
who only loves when one leaves.  Powerful line
Then quick to leave and abuse the next thing.

I hope you get better, independently walking on your feet.
I hope your silent thumbs will be there once more for me.
I hope your son doesn't hit you like his father did anymore.  do you mean before?
I hope that confidence and love end this score.

Torn I sit and offer a ride, from the box in which you hide.  This last line is a bit of a head scratcher

I want to be light with this poem, since I feel it is personal. 
One thing I think I would change is the listing in some areas. It gets to be redundant.

I'll critique again if you decide to revise.

Thanks for the read
sc.

[Bunx]

This reply was supposed to be an edit

[rowens]

Bunx, you are a bassplayer, your sonics work that way.


You are, what the experts call schizo-affective,
this feels like empathy, to you.

And it is.

"I want to be light with this poem, since I feel it is personal.
One thing I think I would change is the listing in some areas. It gets to be redundant."

Semi-whatever-hisnameis has a rhythm here.

"She will never leave the box she helps maintain.
She will never know compassion, his hate
her fate."


I think that rhythms come natural to people with patterned minds.


Read Milton and Hart Crane together. Read them, listen to dorks reading them--online, if you can. And write in those rhythms.


Therepofre/???/Theo Roethke made the comment along the context of: Try to write like your favorite poets, you will fail, and that failure will be your originality.

Do you want to be original, though?  Or express something that you want to be already known?

I gave up trying to be understood. And people telling me that I'm just trying to be different got redundant after a while.



When his hand strikes her face, she breaks down
and tells me.

---

I was drunk out of my mind when I posted this comment.

I am out of booze now, and sober.

I agree with everything I said.