LPiA-22 Nov. 9

[Tiger the Lion]

Let's Pretend it's April - Nov. 9


Rules: Write a poem for LPiA on the topic or form described. Each poem should appear as a separate reply to this thread. The goal is to, at the end of the month have written 30 poems for the month of November. 

Topic : Write a poem proposing a new Olympic sport.
Form : Any
Line requirements: 8 or more
Feel free to reply with comments or kudos as you wish. 

Questions?

A reminder that everyone is welcome to participate, and that 4 in 30 days is better than zero in 30 days. Game on. 

Also, a reminder that you can catch up as you wish. 

[CRNDLSM]

Marching band is not a joke,
constant movement, precision,
pure sound amplification.
Drum corps international
is taken seriously
only in America.
I guess the other countries
think it sounds better to sit while they play.

[RiverNotch]

Proposal to the IOC


If our average instructor
in the gym should prove a creep
or a domineering bleep,

there's a thousand other games
testing spryness, speed, and strength,
showing off our very best,

that our so-called grown-ups deem
childish, not worth their esteem.
Conkers, yo-yos, worms on strings,

tag, or tug-of-war: no gimmicks
are required for our olympics
to be something every parent

rightly-minded should not fear
kids with the right stuff to win.

---

((apparently tug-of-war WAS an olympic sport at one point xD))

[TranquillityBase]

Let us return
to the heart of the matter
and reintroduce 
dueling with antique pistols
(this time around
no wax bullets
or dummies allowed)
the winner will be judged
on the aspects
of costume
intransigence
coolness under fire
and nihilistic sincerity.

[Semicircle]

Atop the craggy clifftops
the two contestants
face each other off;
at the top of their league,
they no longer fear death.
The starter
fires a blank--
LET THE EXTREME IRONING BEGIN!!!!

[dukealien]

National Games


Enough polite Olympic shooting sports
with electric gadgets
which happen to fire 22s
(the skis-and-rifles thing at least had relevance  for Finns)!

Let’s enshrine El Presidente
cornerstone of the International Practical Shooters’  Confederation
wherein a handgun of major caliber
dispatches Vice-President, Chief of Staff
and Minister of Police (all represented
by cardboard targets)
several times
at twenty meters
against the clock
with mandatory reloads.

It will make representatives of
a certain tier of nations
(looking at you, Pakistan)
feel quite at home.

[Mark A Becker]

Olympic Flatulence

There are no restrictions
regarding height, weight, gender, or age.
Each assalete shall have 30 seconds
to produce flatulence
which will be judged upon
loudness, duration, and sonic quality.
Both hands must be firmly engaged
with the farting post during competition:
“USA, approach the post.”