Nature
#1
There's such a thing as flowers
And such a thing as wind
Which spreads them all over the world
Allways to the beginning,but never the end

Those seeds that land from where they grow
They will grow in a place you will never know
A place on earth a touch of time
Sure all God's things turn out fine

As the sky gets dull then turns grey
All god's creatures go away
To a place to shelter to a place to sleep
Waiting for that weather to come up and creep

When that weather is gone
All God's creatures will come along
To face the world and wander the earth
To rome to their destiny for them to give birth


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#2
I love the opening couplet. It's quietly moving and strong.
Nice to see you publish a poem, DUBLIN, and this was a very pleasent little read. It reminds me slightly of this one by Hart Crane: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-name-for-all/ I have just three nits, two of which are purely grammatical. Firstly, that comma in the last line of the first stanza. Is it needed? Especially as there's no other punctuation in the piece. Secondly, in the first line of the third verse you write "get's"; it should be "gets." Lastly, "god's" needs a capital letter.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#3
done cheers Heslopian


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#4
(02-16-2011, 08:57 PM)DUBLIN5 Wrote:  There's such a thing as flowers
And such a thing as wind
Which spreads them all over the world
Allways to the beginning,but never the end

Those seeds that land from where they grow
They will grow in a place you will never know
A place on earth a touch of time
Sure all God's things turn out fine

As the sky gets dull then turns grey
All god's creatures go away
To a place to shelter to a place to sleep
Waiting for that weather to come up and creep

When that weather is gone
All God's creatures will come along
To face the world and wander the earth
To rome to their destiny for them to give birth
always has 1 l and rome should be roam.
great to see you post a poem dubs. and a good effort it is too.
i really do wish more people would post a poem like you did.
the first two lines remind me of wandering star.
the first verse was my fave
thanks for the read Wink
hope you decide to post some more Smile
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#5
i will as i have said before,it's just remembering them ya know ur self


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