Taiga Biorne

[Semicircle]

Bubbles rising
swirling in little spirals
that slosh around
on gentle ripples
that lick the ceiling.


Fuzzy puffballs
cling to his skin
their spindle fibers
twirl and sway
reaching out for bacteria
to catch on their fans.

The humming light 
strobes various colours
tinting the room in 
lurid hues.

His ebony hands entwined
as he sits erect
behind a steel desk
staring blankly at the flaking walls
waiting patiently 
for a quiet rapping.

Thoughts all shredded up
floating in a tank— 

waiting patiently
for a quiet rapping.

[Magpie]

Hi, an interesting poem you've got here. It took a couple of reads before i got the flotation tank thing, but then i was distracted by a somewhat confusing title - is it meant to be 'biome', even so i don't get the titles relevance... anyway, few thoughts below

Bubbles rising   - nice start
to the top of the water  - in two minds as to whether you need this line
swirling in little spirals
that slosh around
on gentle ripples
that lick the cieling.  - (typo with ceiling) - good solid stanza that sets the scene well


Fuzzy puffballs  - is this some kind of trip inside the tank
cling to his skin
their spindel fibers
twirl and sway
reaching out for bacteria
to catch on their fans.  

The humming light 
strobes various colours
tinting the room in 
lurid hues.

His ebony hands entwined
as he sits erect
behind a steal desk  - do you mean 'steel'
staring blankly at the flaking walls
waiting patiently 
for a quiet rapping. - i'm left slightly confused by this stanza is this a different trip or ...

Thoughts all shredded up
floating in a tank—    - perfect two lines

waiting patiently
for a quiet rapping. - good use of the repitition

an intriguing read, i like the trippy element of the poem - so confusion is not a negative at all

cheers

mark