Climate
#1
Climate

If ever you suspect
a return to the days of Noah

relax,

subjectivity is God.

What manner of sheep
follow fake weather reports
onto a strange man's boat?
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#2
The answer to your last stanza:

Two of a kind.

Love with no period
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#3
(02-24-2022, 10:45 AM)rowens Wrote:  The answer to your last stanza:

Two of a kind.

Love with no period
Looking at this with fresh eyes today, I think "sheep" might be a cheap word with somewhat forced contemporary connotations. I'm thinking "cattle" might be a more disciplined word choice. Not necessarily for the sake of this poem, but more as to my thought process moving forward. Wondering if "sheep" is somewhat a whore of a word, at least in 2022.

Edit: plus I think manner/cattle has a nice assonance to it. -
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#4
maybe “God is not subject”

maybe “to any beast
that follows the weather”

no “?”
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#5
Sheep already has connotations when surrounded by biblical context.

beast has context too.

You could simply say

What matter would follow
reports onto a stranger's boat
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#6
What kids
follow fake news
to a stranger's boat?

maybe?
and maybe yacht instead of boat, idk
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#7
TikTok is an interesting place

(02-25-2022, 07:24 PM)RiverNotch Wrote:  What kids
follow fake news
to a stranger's boat?

maybe?
and maybe yacht instead of boat, idk
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
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#8
yet again i'm grateful to be spared of it xD
(02-25-2022, 09:41 PM)CRNDLSM Wrote:  TikTok is an interesting place

(02-25-2022, 07:24 PM)RiverNotch Wrote:  What kids
follow fake news
to a stranger's boat?

maybe?
and maybe yacht instead of boat, idk
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