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Climate
If ever you suspect
a return to the days of Noah
relax,
subjectivity is God.
What manner of sheep
follow fake weather reports
onto a strange man's boat?
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The answer to your last stanza:
Two of a kind.
Love with no period
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02-25-2022, 07:52 AM
(This post was last modified: 02-25-2022, 07:54 AM by Tiger the Lion.)
(02-24-2022, 10:45 AM)rowens Wrote: The answer to your last stanza:
Two of a kind.
Love with no period
Looking at this with fresh eyes today, I think "sheep" might be a cheap word with somewhat forced contemporary connotations. I'm thinking "cattle" might be a more disciplined word choice. Not necessarily for the sake of this poem, but more as to my thought process moving forward. Wondering if "sheep" is somewhat a whore of a word, at least in 2022.
Edit: plus I think manner/cattle has a nice assonance to it. -
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maybe “God is not subject”
maybe “to any beast
that follows the weather”
no “?”
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Sheep already has connotations when surrounded by biblical context.
beast has context too.
You could simply say
What matter would follow
reports onto a stranger's boat
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02-25-2022, 07:24 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-25-2022, 07:25 PM by RiverNotch.)
What kids
follow fake news
to a stranger's boat?
maybe?
and maybe yacht instead of boat, idk
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TikTok is an interesting place
(02-25-2022, 07:24 PM)RiverNotch Wrote: What kids
follow fake news
to a stranger's boat?
maybe?
and maybe yacht instead of boat, idk
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
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yet again i'm grateful to be spared of it xD
(02-25-2022, 09:41 PM)CRNDLSM Wrote: TikTok is an interesting place
(02-25-2022, 07:24 PM)RiverNotch Wrote: What kids
follow fake news
to a stranger's boat?
maybe?
and maybe yacht instead of boat, idk